Re: Men in Cohousing (was "Call for journalist interviewing cohousers")
From: Beverly Jones Redekop (beverly.jones.redekopgmail.com)
Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2012 11:49:34 -0700 (PDT)
The illustration that seems to make the lightbulb turn on for visitors here
is our front porch/back porch spiel.

We tell people on tours that cohousing differs from 70s communes in that we
value company *and* privacy.  "If you're reading your newspaper on your
front porch, it means you're fair game -- you would love to have someone
ask what you're reading or offer you some coffee or invite you to walk on
out to the garden.  If you're reading your newspaper on your backporch, it
means 'please don't talk to me or look at me' --  not that you're in a snit
-- it means you're savouring the peace and serenity the same as you would
if you lived alone on 40 acres."  (This might be paraphrased from Chuck's
presentation...I've shared it so many times that I can't remember where it
comes from anymore.)

I think people also like that we "bill" community contribution hours by the
adult but are "paid" by the household.  (A two-adult household owes 10
hours per month but it's fine if one adult does most or all of the hours.)

It feels introvert-friendly and reluctant-spouse-accommodating here at
Groundswell Cohousing at the Yarrow Ecovillage (www.yarrowecovillage.ca).

Best wishes,
Beverly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          Beverly Jones Redekop

    beverly.jones.redekop [at] gmail.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On Mon, Mar 19, 2012 at 11:27 AM, G/P Looney-Burman <
burloon [at] fresnocohousing.org> wrote:

>
> When we began our marketing for La Querencia (aka Fresno Cohousing), we
> came
> up with the phrase, "The Case of the Reluctant Spouse," the reluctant
> spouse
> being the husband 99+% of the time.  The main reason given was, "I need my
> privacy," or "My husband has to have his privacy."  Our counter to that
> ("You always have privacy when you want it") was never really accepted or
> believed-and the reluctant spouse + wife never returned.
>
>
>
> That being said, we had two single males, both divorced and one with two
> teenagers, who were part of our original group.  The dad is still here and
> still loving it, even with his daughters having moved on after they
> finished
> high school.
>
>
>
> In my own case, it was my husband who first said, "I think we should look
> into this," after we attended Katie's initial presentation.  I was in
> shock,
> since he had always said he would be perfectly happy in a cave.  I could
> have done the cave thing, as long as there was e-mail and a telephone.  All
> this translates into both of us being introverts, and saying "privacy
> needed" may, in fact, be describing an introvert.
>
>
>
> Our community has an Open House every Sunday afternoon, as we continue to
> market our remaining units.  There is a married man who has visited several
> times who says he would love to live here, but he just can't convince his
> wife.so there you go.
>
>
>
> Patricia Looney-Burman
>
> La Querencia (Fresno Cohousing)
>
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