Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Use of email (Jasen Robillard)

[Ann Zabaldo (zabaldo]

Moz — In a previous email I made this very point:   that people yell at each 
other in person as well as on email.  

IME … in my community and in others I’ve been involved w/ the “flaming” happens 
w/ much more frequently on email than ever F2F.

In either case, neither is acceptable behavior.

Again, as I said in another email I hope we can quit toting up the pros and 
cons of email vs. F2F and look for some solutions in which technology gives a 
voice to those who use it and also supports those who prefer in person 
discussion.

I believe as Sharon and others have alluded to … it’s not so much the medium of 
communication as it is the ability to engage in a good conflict resolution 
process.

Best --

Ann Zabaldo
Takoma Village Cohousing
Washington, DC
Principal, Cohousing Collaborative, LLC
Falls Church VA
703-688-2646

On Feb 12, 2014, at 4:50 PM, Moz <list [at] moz.geek.nz> wrote:

> 
> On Wed, February 12, 2014 11:04 am, Ann Zabaldo wrote:
>> After reading this thread I realized I actually, don’t have ANY objection
>> to issues being discussed on email.  The concern I have is the ease w/
>> which people morph into flaming.
> 
> I think the point that's been made is that flaming is not necessarily
> worse than the in-person alternative of people simply shutting down and
> walking away. Neither is likely to resolve the conflict. I get that some
> people like shouting at others face to face, just as others like to craft
> cutting emails. But to me, wanting one over the other is simply personal
> preference. I haven't seen a factual argument on this yet.
> 
> IME this has been a real tension in many groups, as people move along a
> spectrum from extreme introverts who will not attend meetings of more than
> 2-3 people, through to extreme extroverts who use email primarily to
> organise face to face events (and people uncomfortable with technology who
> print their email or just don't have email at all). It's obviously easier
> to get things working as you exclude more parts of that spectrum from the
> group, but again, in my experience many people are offended when I observe
> that "it's easier without them" because they like to think of themselves
> as inclusive.
> 
> Moz
> 
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