Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: NVC and conflict resolution

[Alan O'Hashi (adoecos]

i think nvc and its ilk are good, and folks intellectually get the idea and 
concept behind nvc, but asking an entire community - 30 to 50 people or more - 
to integrate it into everyday life while 'on campus' is the biggest challenge.

cohousing is antithetical to what my friend and colleague, yana ludwig, calls 
the competitive world view - winning is better than losing, clawing their way 
to the top, rugged individualism, manipulating the system for self interested 
purposes. cohousers shaking that view which they've had pounded into their 
heads since grade school is a tough assignment.

my guess, 85 to 95 percent of neighbor interactions are routine. the few 
conflicts that happen don't provide much real world time to practice.

we went through a truncated training - not nvc but a version of it. not 
everyone in the community attended, and some of those who didn't were the ones 
who are the conflict initiators, so that was counter productive. in my view, it 
ultimately wasn't worth the few bucks we paid nor worth the time.

in the real world, the dynamics of conflict happen when you'd least expect 
them. gathering one's nvc wits and having to think too much about the 'steps' 
takes too much time to respond, unless it comes naturally. thx
alan o.


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Alan O'Hashi - ECOS
EnviroCultural Organization Systems
 http://www.alanohashi.com/ecos
Colorado 303-910-5782
Wyoming 307-274-1910
Nebraska 402-327-1652
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