Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Apologizing to everyone on the Coho-L list

[Chris Hansen (itschrishansen]

I appreciate the apology- easy mistake we are probably all terrified of
making, having done so more times than we'd be comfortable admitting!
I do have a request, though.
I find referring to people as 'difficult people' quite othering, blaming
and an all-encompassing label, and wonder if it could be switched to
'people whose behavours we find difficult'.
Often we are talking about behaviours and people who we personally find
difficult (and to be sure, this may be a shared experience!). I know that I
am someone who some people find 'difficult' and yet others find
'delightful' (and much in-between)
So rather than labeling and blaming people, I'd like to request that we put
the responsibility with ourselves and behaviors; Instead of saying' Chris
is a difficult person', it might be 'I find Chris difficult when she
challenges that language I use', or even 'I find it difficult to connect
with Chris', or even, occasionally 'I find Chris difficult'.
Some of us have been labelled and pathologized our whole lives, and our
hope might be that CoHousing is a place where we find some inclusion and
acceptance.
Thanks!


On Thu, 4 Feb 2021 at 09:29, Barbara Smith via Cohousing-L <
cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:

>  Actually, Diane -- the email exchange was remarkably useful. Email
> strikes again. b
>     On Wednesday, February 3, 2021, 10:19:23 PM EST, Diana Leafe Christian
> <diana [at] ic.org> wrote:
>
>  Hello everyone,
> I owe a huge apology to two communities and readers of this list. I was
> shocked to see that an email I meant to send only to a cohouser I was
> corresponding with on email went out to the whole cohousing-L list by
> mistake.
>     I put the coho-L email in the cc line to the cohouser I was writing to
> in order to get the coho-L address  so I could send it to her. But then I
> forgot to remove it. Everyone got our correspondence in that exchange,
> including my original long email to the cohouser offering suggestions about
> what I call "challenging people." I'm quite embarrassed about this and will
> apologize directly to that cohouser, people in the unnamed community I
> cited about their former situation, all of you who receive the coho-L list.
> I am so sorry. I don't want to ever be that careless again!
> Diana Leafe Christian
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-- 
Chris Hansen
32 East Village Drive
Burlington
Vermont 05401
USA

Ph 603 3988730