Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: No Vetos [was Limiting whole-house renting in CoHousing

[Martie Weatherly (mhweatherly]

Thank you Sharon for such a great description of the words block and veto, 
which are not part of any consent decision making.
 
Consensus actually refers to the whole process of making the decision, not just 
to the act of agreeing or not. It includes being able to passionately present 
each point of view and then for the group to shift to a creative collaborative 
discussion which is very exciting as it leads to the best solution for the 
whole community.
 
Consensus is not designed for long periods of time trying to convince someone 
to change their mind. Rather, the discussion is in the context of honoring the 
concern, which then is set aside or the group creatively finds a solution that 
all are ready to implement. 
 
This is one of the challenges to consent decision making that we will discuss 
further in my Consensus Made Easy free workshop coming up on Tues June 28. More 
at this link:   https://coachmartie.com/consensus-made-easy-registration.html ;
Join us to find how to dismantle this and two other common pitfalls to 
consensus and experience the excitement of a creative solution to even a knotty 
problem!
 
Martie
 
Message-----
From: 
Sent: Jun 22, 2022 10:31 AM
To: Cohousing-L 
Cc: Sharon Villines 
Subject: [C-L]_ No Vetos [was Limiting whole-house renting in CoHousing
 
> Our decision making process is by consensus. When we have one person
> blocking a decision, we attempt to develop a proposal that they can live
> with. It doesn't always work, but we do try, and we agreed as a group that
> getting insights from other communities might be helpful in this regard.
 
I haven’t posted this in a long time so I’m stepping in again — not to 
criticize this but in hopes of cleaning up the language. Words have many 
meanings and all of them can come into play when a word is used. Blocks are 
concrete and heavy. No nuance or reasoning.
 
It is counter productive to confuse an objection with a veto. And objection 
represents a decision-maker’s belief that a proposed solution is in some way 
not good for the group and/or not good for themselves as a member of the group. 
There are many approaches to analyzing an objection in order to resolve it — 
that’s why it is an objection and not a veto. Vetos typically do not have to be 
reasoned. A person with veto power doesn’t even have to give a reason. Just 
stamp the proposal vetoed.
 
More on this here:
 
https://www.sociocracy.info/blocks-to-consensus-decision-making/
 
Sharon
----
Sharon Villines, Washington DC
"Behavior is determined by the prevailing form of decision making." Gerard 
Endenburg
 
 
 
 
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