Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Is cohousing a consumer product?

[Bonnie Fergusson (fergyb2]

I think many folk will screen themselves out if it’s made clear how central the 
social and Community work commitments are.  People who are just looking for a 
place to live don’t want all the meetings and interaction and will generally 
look elsewhere if the expectations are made clear.  BonnieSwans Market 
CohousingOakland, CA


Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad


On Sunday, March 12, 2023, 10:43 AM, Kathleen Lowry <kathleenlowrylpcclmft [at] 
gmail.com> wrote:

Yes I agree Bonnie, but an awful lot of people don’t put most of their energy 
into relationships of any kind. Is there a way to screen? Kathleen

> On Mar 12, 2023, at 1:36 PM, Bonnie Fergusson via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l 
> [at] cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
>   Cultivating relationships needs to be the primary focus, a willingness to 
> work for the Community and a willingness to put the Community good ahead of 
> your personal preferences.  The last is the one most Americans find alien to 
> our individualist culture.  Patience with the decision making process is also 
> a stumbling block for many.  Consensus decision making is slower than voting 
> but often throws up better decisions than were first proposed, eventually.😏 
> Sharing life with your neighbors is what it’s all about in the long 
> run.Bonnie FergussonSwans Market CohousingOakland, CA
> 
> 
> Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad
> 
> 
> On Sunday, March 12, 2023, 10:09 AM, Kathleen Lowry <kathleenlowrylpcclmft 
> [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> My first foray into cohousing didn’t work because I was unclear about my real 
> priorities. I bought a lot in a beautiful area surrounded by woods on a hill 
> with a view of the Smokies.
> At the time I wasn’t clear that my priorities were 1. Community with some 
> closeness and sense of spirituality 2. Natural beauty 3. Architecturally, 
> small and beautiful. When I bought the lot, that’s how it felt.
> It turned  out, I misinterpreted what I saw when I first saw the community. 
> Newcomers built big houses reflecting  little interest in architectural 
> beauty or living small,
> there was no community structure (or governance) and the primary common 
> interest was organic farming and chickens. That was was fine, but not me. 
> 
> I could have certainly traded some of what I care about for other things I 
> have a passion for, like a community interest in music, or educational 
> volunteering, or a few other passions of mine. That’s how I find friends in 
> my regular life- but I for some reason didn’t think of that when it came to 
> looking for community. Duh. 
> 
> 
> 
>> On Mar 11, 2023, at 2:23 PM, Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l 
>> [at] cohousing.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Wonderful thread on the ability/inability to find a place in cohousing. It 
>> brings to mind two experiences and one conclusion:
>> 
>> 1. When I went to my first cohousing conference I was surprised at how many 
>> people were there not to learn how to form a community but how to find one. 
>> I was only meeting people who were shopping. And they were shopping far and 
>> wide.
>> 
>> 2. When I much later tried to build a forum for people who were committed to 
>> and needed a cohousing community in which the units cost $100,000 or less, 
>> it didn’t work. The major reason was that no cluster of people formed that 
>> wanted to work on forming a specific community in a specific place. No 
>> commitment to a solution specific enough to materialize it.
>> 
>> Cohousing communities are created; they aren’t found. 
>> 
>> Your perfect community can’t exist until you are in it.
>> 
>> Sharon
>> —————
>> Sharon Villines, Washington DC
>> 
>> We don’t agonize, we organize. — Nancy Pelosi
>> 
>> _________________________________________________________________
>> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
>> http://L.cohousing.org/info
>> 
>> 
>> 
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://L.cohousing.org/info
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://L.cohousing.org/info
> 
> 
> 
_________________________________________________________________
Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
http://L.cohousing.org/info