Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Guidelines on Children

[Muriel Kranowski (murielk]

I can't speak for Sharon's intent, but I read it as "here's how it went in
my community," not as "this is what you can expect in your community." The
experience in my community was in fact much more collaborative and
non-contentious.

We've always had young children and we've also always had kid norms that
the parents and the kids (if old enough to participate in such a
discussion, probably age 5 and up) jointly agreed on. There has always been
an understanding that the kids, like the adults, will be kind and
considerate and non-destructive, and when we see them not behaving that
way, the parents and kids have a meeting and decide what to do differently.
I can only remember two families who allowed their child to ignore those
norms, and neither family stayed in the community long-term.

I don't know whose community's experience is more typical, Sharon's or
mine, but I don't think that anarchy and/or furious disagreement around kid
behavior is inevitable.
   Muriel at Shadowlake Village