Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Families with kids

[Mac Thomson (macthomson]

I’m biased, but I think our community (Heartwood Cohousing, SW Colorado) is an 
amazing place to raise kids. I’ve lived here for 26 years and when asked about 
my experience living here, I generally say that it’s a great place for adults, 
but with some trade-offs and aggravations, but for kids, it’s all good. Maybe 
the single best thing for me about living here has been being able to raise our 
3 kids here.

Here’s an entry in our FAQ:

> What's it like having kids at Heartwood?
> Our children live an especially charmed life. Because our neighborhood is a 
> car-free zone and is situated within 350 acres of open space, it’s an 
> incredibly safe place for children to roam, play, explore, and connect with 
> their friends. There’s no need to set up play dates here. The kids have the 
> freedom to go out and play with their friends.
> 
> As with all neighborhoods, there's a natural ebb and flow in terms of the 
> number of kids living at Heartwood. In the past, we had 25 or more kids 
> living here, but they have grown up and moved on so now we have fewer kids. 
> Recently we've had several families with young children move in so we're 
> seeing the tide turn. With the addition of Phase 2, we hope to bring in even 
> more families with kids. We place a high value on supporting a 
> multigenerational community. 
> 
> Unlike a typical school setting where kids tend to only interact with kids 
> their own age and gender, here at Heartwood there seems to be more 
> interactions amongst boys and girls of different ages. Maybe it’s because 
> having grown up together, the kids here are so close to each other that 
> they’re almost likes brothers, sisters, or cousins. Maybe it’s because when a 
> game of freeze tag gets going on a summer evening on the S.S. Ponderosa (our 
> play structure in the Village Green), all the kids just naturally join in. 
> Whatever the reason, the mixing of ages and genders is a good thing. It gives 
> the kids a chance to assume many different roles: sometimes the leader, 
> sometimes the follower; sometimes the one with the scraped knee, sometimes 
> the caregiver.
> 
> Our children also get to interact with many more adults than is typical. They 
> know that they can trust all of the adults here and can go to any one of them 
> for help or comforting. In essence, they enjoy a village of extended family 
> with many aunts, uncles, grandmas, and grandpas.
> 
> All of those other adults within easy walking distance takes a lot of 
> pressure off of us parents. We don’t have to be all things to our children. 
> Our kids can learn to build a birdhouse with Eric or have a conversation 
> about dating with Beth. They grow up with the benefit of many more life 
> perspectives and a broader view of the world.
> 
> There’s also a very strong informal network of mutual parenting support. We 
> have no formal shared parenting. Parents are free to raise their kids as they 
> see fit. In practice, however, parents help each other out a lot. When the 
> kids are little, it’s very common for parents to watch each other’s kids. 
> When the kids get a little older, one parent will arrange with another to be 
> the kid’s 'check-in', which simply means that the child is on their own, but 
> they know that there’s a specific adult whom they know and trust that is at 
> home and available to help them if they need it. Parents who are new to 
> Heartwood are sometimes reluctant to allow their children so much freedom, 
> but quickly realize just what a safe and nurturing environment it is here and 
> loosen up and enjoy the benefits of our mutual parenting support for 
> themselves and for their children.
> 
> We have created a lot of amenities for the kids. There’s the big play 
> structure in the Village Green, the S.S. Ponderosa, the Village Green itself 
> for yard games, a basketball court, a tennis court, a pickleball court, a 
> sledding hill, 7 miles of bike trails, and ping pong and foosball at the 
> common house. And of course there’s the natural world to explore that comes 
> with life in the country: forests, fields, pastures, ponds, hills, ravines, 
> trees, and boulders. What we don’t have are a lot of television and video 
> games. While some of that certainly happens, most parents here limit those 
> activities so kids end up spending more time outside and with friends than 
> they do in front of a screen.
> 
> You might also find this video helpful:
>       • Cohousing Families: Raising Children in Community
>           A 13 minute video filmed at Forgebank, Lancaster Cohousing.


-- 
Mac Thomson

Heartwood Cohousing
Southwest Colorado
http://www.heartwoodcohousing.com


"I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot."
        - Robert G. Ingersoll
**********************************************************



> On Jul 6, 2026, at 9:35 AM, Ann Lehman <ann [at] zimmerman-lehman.com> wrote:
> 
> Hi Folks,
> 
> I am looking for positive experiences of folks raising their kids in
> cohousing.  I'm guessing there's already a lot on this list, but feel free
> to send me some.  In particular, I would love to hear from some folks who
> were raised in cohousing about how that experience worked (or didn't) for
> you.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Ann Lehman*
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