Cohousing-L Mailing List: social expectations

[Judy (BAXTER%EPIHUB]

Rob Sandelin <robsan [at] microsoft.com> wrote :
 (in response to Martin Tracy  mtracy@netcom)
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|Well, it seems that one of the most destructive events in community
|building is the appearance of sub-groups like cliques.  Members of the
|group who are not members of the subgroup may feel that they're missing
|out on something, and members of the subgroup may leave the group entirely.

<<I would disagree with this point.  Subgroups are a natural collection 
of people who share similiar interests, hobbies, whatever.  Part of the 
balance of community life is finding ways to relate to the whole group 
(the bigger the group, the more shallow this is.) 
        And yes, there are a couple people who I spend little time with because 
I choose not to.  I don't especially exclude them from anything I am 
doing, I choose not to delibrately seek them out.  >>

I (Judy Baxter) agree with Rob.  We currently have 11 adults living at Mococo,
and expect about 35-40.  I certainly feel the need for a larger group for
social reasons.  It is has always been my expectation that in a larger group, I
can enjoy living and working with people who I may never become close to and
would not seek out on a personal level.  Right now, I think we all have very
different relationships with different people, ranging from close to tolerating
one another.  I think if you expect to be equally close to everyone, you would
need a very different membership process and expectation than we have, and that
is certainly not what I want.  One of the problems I have always seen, with
small cohousing or other shared housing groups, is that vacancies would leave a
very tight, specific niche to be filled.  I'm interested in a looser community,
and I think that is true of much of our group.  

Judy Baxter, Monterey Cohousing Community, (MoCoCo)
Twin Cities Area, Minneapolis/St.Paul Minnesota
e-mail: baxter [at] epivax.epi.umn.edu
other mail:     2925 Monterey Ave So,  St. Louis Park, MN 55416
Twin Cities CoHousing Network Voice Mail  612-930-7580
 Voice Mail for Monterey Cohousing - 612-930-7554