Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Dealing with deadlock

[Tom Buck (tbuck]

Seems to me that dead-lock over an issue means that more discussion
needs to happen.  Usually deadlock revolves around people being
terrified that they will be left out or not have their agenda 
included.  Consensus does not mean that everybody agrees 100%.  I
think that it means that we are agreeing to do something, we may 
change our minds later, and the agreement means that those not in
100% agreement will not oppose, undermine, or resist the consensed
issue.

What seems to help is to defuse the situation somehow, remind ourselves
that we are in this together, and try to non-confrontationally and
non-defensively explore what the REAL problem is.  Because it's often
not the stated problem.