Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: paying ourselves for work

[Rob Sandelin (robsan]

 MoCoCo-Mpls:  asked : should we hire ourselves to do work on the 
project?.  At the end of the message Monica stated:  but such a 
mountain of bad feelings were
generated just by considering the question, we've dropped it in the past.

Any experience or suggestions out there?


If I were in your group I would explore the mountains of bad feelings 
about the issue.  Figure out exactly why people feel bad about it by 
asking direct questions such as: "why do you feel so strongly about 
this?"  Determine the values and feelings around the issue   and then 
you have a way of dealing with it.  If there is personal self interest 
at stake, identify it.  If there is jealously or bad feelings about 
personal self interest, identify it.  Brainstorm up a values and 
feelings list so everyone can see what are the issues people have 
(Caution: this type of feelings stuff often spills over into places you 
didn't expect so be prepared for that).

If you don't think people can or will be honest about their feelings 
and values do an anonymous survey where people can write stuff in.  
Often times people have a hard time admitting jealous or bad feelings 
towards another member (he gets paid to do this and I don't like him so 
I don't like the whole idea of paying for work).

Other feelings of self interest may be things like cost exposure, fear 
of control or loss of control, I need the work but don't want to admit 
it to the group, or I want to do it the right (my)  way.

Once the group understands the self interests and  honest  feelings it 
makes it possible to find work arounds and solutions.  Otherwise you 
end up dancing in dark.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood