Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: What is community?

[Rob Sandelin (robsan]

Community is a continuum, starting with social interactions and moving 
into relationship, then moving into commitment to relationship.  If I 
care about how you  feel, understand your history and life and how you 
think, grok the essence of your being, then I will be committed to my 
relationship to you and go far out of my way to serve your needs. And 
you will do the same for me.

One of the  lights of commitment to relationship (Community)  is that 
it makes all our decisions and conflicts so much easier - because each 
of us, will stretch far out of our comfort and pattern to help 
understand the other, making the finding of common ground so much 
easier.  We do this because we care about each other and our 
relationship is far more important than any given "issue".

If I don't really care about the relationship, then any given "issue" 
between us can easily become more important than the relationship, and 
in some cases  the relationship is sacrificed over the "issue".  The 
importance of (commitment to) the relationship is what defines 
community for me.

When people are committed to each other, you can rely on them for 
anything, and they can rely on you.  The security, warmth, and 
happiness that feeling engenders is worth everything you have.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood