Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What Makes community---and Scott Peck's approach

[Monty Berman (mberman]

On Thu, 20 Apr 1995 Jaredgel [at] aol.com wrote:

> I'd like to add a somewhat different perspective on community, which might
> address some of why Rob at Sharingwood is hearing from a number of co-housing
> groups that there is a lack of community at them. 
> Community, in my mind, is never about structure. It is created by who we are
> in relation to others. Some structures can facilitate that (as I believe
> co-housing can) and some can impede it, as our typical atomized housing
> patterns do, but no structure can create that sense of belonging, being seen
> and valued that we crave.  The only way to create community is to do the
> incredibly difficult work of being open and honest and sharing of who we
> really are, apart from all the facades we present to the world and to
> ourselves. 

        I support Jared's view that a structure in and of itself doesn't create 
community, with the acknowledgement that some structures are more 
facilitative than others.His reference to the "difficult work" involved 
in creating authentic community also computes with my experience, which 
includes attending Scott Peck's four-day community building 
workshop.Peck uses a communication (or relating to other) approach, which 
dovetails with my own personal growth approach. It is myself who is the 
key to creating and promoting real community with and among others. Jack 
Gibb, author of TRUST (and, with his wife Lorraine, originator of T*O*R*I 
trust level theory), believes that trust is the key dynamic for the kind 
of interrelating that feels real, alive, and personally rewarding---and 
being personal is the basis for achieving trust. He also puts out the to-me 
challenging statement that our environments don't create us; we create 
our own environments. For me, doing self-work is what community building is 
all about. It IS difficult AND the most meaningful focus of my living.

> Far and away the best book I know that describes this is Scott Peck's A
> Different Drum which I urge upon everyone who has any interest in community. 
> There is also an organization which sponsors workshops based on Peck's work
> called the Foundation for Community Encouragement. There are lots of problems
> with this organization, in my opinion, and they present worthwhile work.
> Their address is incorrectly listed in the Different Drum, it is FCE 109
> Danbury Rd. Suite 8 Ridgefield CT 06877 203-431-9484 I believe that someone
> who has done a lot of work with FCE worked with one of the North Carolina
> Co-housing groups. That would be another possible resource, if someone could
> provide more info.

> Jared

        My colleague, Patricia Rector, and I also do community building 
work. We offer an abbreviated version of community building, adapted 
from Peck's work and writings, and from
my own interpersonal communications  personal growth approach.Pat and I 
are very in doing this work and welcome inquiries. I can be contacted 
at: 224 Melbourne Ave. Syracuse, NY 13224  (315)445-0748
mberman [at] mailbox.syr.edu

"We can be who we want to become."

Monty Berman (First Residents Group---EcoVillage at Ithaca)