Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Rituals

[MelaSilva (MelaSilva]

  I am a member of SouthSide Park Cohousing in Sacramento, and would like to
reply.   We spoke many times in our small group discussions about rituals
prior to moving in. Many of us felt that wilth just a little nudge they would
develop by themselves over time.   One of the intentional rituals many of us
do is going house to house with drums, a smudge stick of burning sage and
brooms to clean the atmosphere . The 1st time we invited an outside expert,
which helped, and since then we have done it by ourselves.This last time we
sang "Come Gracious Spirit, Sweep Out fear and doubt, Sweep In joy and peace"
Then we added Sweep  In or Sweep Out statements as we felt moved. Some one
added " Sweep Out fear of success" when we came to her writing desk, a 10
year old added "Sweep Out fleas" at the home of a major cat owner. The
funniest ones were at the Common House. "Sweep In good nutrition!" "Sweep Out
BUREAUCRACY !!!" "Sweep In harmony" As we moved up the stairs to the teen
room, some one shouted "Sweep In LOW FERTILITY" 
   We have also been fortunate that the whole community feels drawn to the
common house for their own personal rituals.Many people celebrate birthday
parties on the patio, we had a marriage right away,  a mass of 1st communion,
and reception after the funeral of a daughter of one of our members.
   We are widely scattered across the spiritual plane, with 5 households
belonging to 1 Catholic church, 2 Jewish households, 2 Unitarian households,
 several  athiests, and many of a spiritual bent that doesn't lend itself to
definition.And those are only the ones I happen to know. So we want to take
our time in developing group rituals that honestly reflect us and not just
adopt something and try to make it fit. When our friend's daughter died, we
immediatly came together to see what we could do. Because our friend became
an overnight parent to 3 preschool grandchildren, we wanted to do all we
could to help. People arranged childcare, took over laundry chores, we gave
the whold family free meals at the common house for a month, and we posted a
list and signed up to take food over every day for a couple of weeks. To me,
that is a spirital ritual, you know what I mean?  Cohousing is for life, and
we feel no hurry to push something into existance until it is appropriate,
heartfelt and fills a need.