Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Undercover & 2¢ OR The Path of Least Resistance

[Annika Forester (alforester]

        Here at N Street we have grown to include 13 houses on two streets.
We share one extensive common backyard, having removed all fencing between
properties.  Since our community has grown "organically," that is, one
adjacent house adding on at a time, growth has been uneven at times.  At
one time there were noticably more houses on one street and fewer on the
other.

         As it happened, there is one neighbor who's home is right smack in
the center of our community, and neither he nor his house are part of our
community.  Nonetheless, he has been tolerant of us, even supportive.
Perhaps we are lucky, or just obviously nice and trustworthy. His resultant
"openness" has allowed us to remove parts of the fence sparating our
backyards, and while we never set foot on his property, the extended view
permitted by removing this visual obstacle, makes it seem like there is, in
actuality, no discontinuity in our communal backyard.

        I would offer that co-housing has a natural inertia that gains
momentum as it is practiced. It speaks for itself and does not require
coercion. On a spiritual level it feels to me like a good fit; what we all
need in these times.  While community building does require work and
attention, in my experience a majority of that attention must be spent on a
personal level; focusing on the discovery of the inner truth that I would
rather live together than spearate.  Once our manifest personal boundary
systems have been adjusted in alignment with our ideals, the outer
structures tend to follow rather effortlessly.

          To those who endeavor to build a sense of community where none
before has existed, I say GO FOR IT.  Nothing can be lost, and much stands
to be gained.  If you find in your condo that you feel "community" with
some of your neighbors, then keep it up.  Sure, visioning about the day
when everyone in the place "belongs" is a healthy excercise, but this
shouldn't obscure the real day-to-day transformation that takes place when
people let down their barriers, and decide to be together, rather than
separate.

         I am not saying that here at N Street we spend a lot of community
meeting time processing everybody's personal growth issues.  On the
contrary, our meetings tend to be quite mundane and work oriented, though
sensitive to people's needs.  I would attribute much of our functionality
to the collective alignment we all share in wanting to be "in community."
Without this, the amount of real work we could have accomplished to date
would be far less.

           Back to the condo where not everybody wants to join in the fun.
My advice is to just relax and have a good time with what you do have!  At
N Street, where strangers once peered over the fence to see what we were up
to, today that fence is gone and they are friends doing things with us.
Sometimes its just a matter giving a good thing have a chance to happen.