Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: parents and kids in cohousing

[Shava Nerad (shava]

> Would any of you parents and/or kids out there be able to make a few
> comments about the benefits of cohousing?

You might want to look up the large amount of material written on kids
in kibbutzes in Israel, just as a side reference to your article.  The
interesting development there, to me as an anthropologist, is the strong
tendency to "exogamy" -- marrying "out of the tribe."  Many of the 
kibbutznik kids found that they had feelings of incest taboo against
their kibbutz "sibs."  Many also found that they were less comfortable
with potential mates without kibbutz backgrounds.  The result was a sort
of tribal exchange of young adults, among neighboring (or otherwise 
related) kibbutzes.

I experienced much the same problem as a Unitarian kid in a small town.
My friends in high school, male and female, spent more waking hours (and
occasionally others...) in each others' company than with adults, during
pre-adolescence and adolescence.  This in a "big town" in Vermont of about
8000.  As a result, the boy who I was best friends with -- who both sets
of parents predicted I would marry -- was more like my brother by the time
we were thinking about courtship.  The concept of moving into a girl/boy-
friend relationship was ridiculous.

Hmmm....  Is this reassuring to parents of (to-be-)teenagers in coho
situations? ;)

So, no direct experience, but some musings about related situations...

Shava
Shava