Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Talking to the neighbors about CoHo

[Denise Meier and/or Michael Jacob (dmmj]

Good luck, John. We're going through much the same process, and although
the crime isn't an issue, density, property values, and traffic are. 

One thing we learned from our first meeting is that one of our group
started going on about how wonderful cohousing is and how it helps make
life so much better, and sitting in the audience with my empathic powers
on HIGH, I could hear it as "your isolated suburban lifestyle really
sucks, and this is what we're doing so we won't have to live like you do".
Of course, this is not what we meant, but afterwards people said things to
me like "you know, we have a block party every July 4th.  We have a real
community here already, you know." So the lesson I'm trying to impart is
to be careful not to put down the people you're talking to. 

Another thing is that although perhaps cohousing communities do generate 
less traffic than the same number of individual dwelling units, it is 
really unrealistic to expect the city or the neighbors to accept that as 
traffic mitigation. It isn't possible to know who will be living in your 
community in 10 years, and whether it'll still even be cohousing. So 
though we've tried that tack, it's been shot down by the neighbors and I 
have to admit I think they're right.

On a positive note, the first time we tried this, in a different
neighborhood, there had been rumors about us as a cult, a group of hippies
who were planning to import welfare mothers from Oakland to live here. So
by the time we got that straightened out they were all pissed off, and not
in a mood to be appeased about traffic or density issues, either.  This
time around we approached the neighbors early, before word got around, and
even those who are likely to show up at the city council hearings and
speak against our density seem to like the idea (at a lower density), and
wish us well.  If you have any friends/supporters in the neighborhood, beg
them to come to the meeting and speak up in your favor. That helped us A
LOT! If you have people who are the least bit favorable, cultivate them. 

Serve food, dress nice, be polite, and last but not least, listen to 
their concerns and let them know you understand their fears, even if 
inside you think they're silly. We learned that arguing against people's 
fears doesn't work. Listening to them and then presenting calm 
information works a lot better.

Good luck
Denise Meier
Sebastopol, California