Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Conflict

[Buzz Burrell (72253.2101]

>We are developing our conflict resolution procedures, and are wondering
>what procedures cohousing groups follow when a member refuses to resolve a
>conflict.  What type of action is taken by your group?

What type of conflict?  Fistfight?  Disagreement?  Name calling?  The type of
action seems to depend upon what the conflict was;  some is healthy and normal,
and some isn't.

We read our primary Agreements before each meeting. I don't recall ever using a
conflict resolution process.  Here are most of them;  I tried to edit out the
ones that didn't apply, but in a way, they all apply to conflict resolution.

AGREEMENTS 
 1.  I agree to use the mission of [organization name] as a guide to my actions.

 2.  I agree to tell my truth, with compassion for myself and others.

 3.  I agree to listen respectfully to the communication of others and pay
attention to their deepest meaning.

 4.  I agree to acknowledge that everyone, including myself, is making the best
possible choice or decision we are capable of at that moment of choice or
decision.

 5.  I agree to take responsibility for acknowledging myself and receiving
acknowledgment from others.

 6.  I agree to acknowledge others.

 7.  I agree to come from a sense of cooperation and caring in my interactions
with others, and from an understanding that goals are often the same even though
methods for achieving them may differ.

 8.  I agree to look for the unresolved issue within me that creates a
disproportionate reaction to another's behavior.

 9.  I agree to take the time to establish rapport and then to re-connect with
anyone with whom I feel out of harmony as soon as it's appropriate.

10.  I agree to take problems, complaints and upsets to the person(s) with whom
I can resolve them, at the earliest opportunity.  I agree not to criticize or
complain to someone who cannot do something about my complaint, and I will
redirect others to do the same.


Buzz Burrell
Geneva Community
In rainy Colorado;  if the weather was like this all the time, I would be quite
the writer.