Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Why woudl anyone join a cohousing group?

[Jim Nordgaard (jimn]

> Having twice visited our local (Monterey) cohousing group, and having
> lurked here for over 18 months while our family contemplated its
> future, I am left wondering why anyone would join a cohousing group.
> The basic idea, of ecological and socioeconomic benefits to be
> garnered by joining a cohousing community, quickly becomes
> overshadowed by the reality of the situation.
[...]
> Finally, an aspect aside from everything else is the need to integrate
> into a tightly-woven community.  In the case of Monterey everyone
> seemed very nice and all, but there was a clear sense that this was a
> team.  Now that's not BAD, mind you, in fact it's great -- but there
> was a concern on our part that coming in after all the hardest work
> was done would leave us as "outsiders" among a core-group which had
> been justifiably forged by the experience of setting up the place.
> 

Hi,

Hearing about this posting from another member of my Cohousing community 
prompted me to (finally) join this list and respond--since I am 
especially qualified to answer this particular concern.

I am in fact the newest member of the Monterey Cohousing Community, the 
one that the poster mentions visiting twice, and based his reactions to. 
 I will strongly echo all the advantages that others have posted in 
reply, which formed the basis of why I choose to join the community.

I am coming into the community after most of the hard work of building 
the community has been done.  I have come to hear about--and 
appreciate--all the effort, and financial commitment (and risk) that has 
been put into the development over the past few years, especially those 
who took on the role of "developers" when no outside developer could be 
found.  Yet, I have not gotten any indication whatsoever of any 
resentment from anyone in the about my joining the community.  I believe 
this all has to do with attitude:

The attitude that forms the basis of a cohousing community is more focus 
on participation and cooperation, and less focus on who's getting more 
on their fair share, and who's getting less than their fair share.  Have 
no doubt that the issue of fairness is constantly being considered.  
However there comes to a point when all involved comes to realize that 
you could spend an infinite amount of time trying to achieve an 
absolutely fair system/solution, and never reach it.  The pragmatic 
approach is to establish reasonably fair decisions, and if everyone is 
committed to the principle of participation and cooperation, than 
resentment tend not to occur.

A key to making this happen is a good initiation process for prospective 
members.  I was informed from the start that I needed to attend meetings 
and join in work teams for a certain period of time, *before* becoming a 
full member of the community.  I had no problem with this, since I 
understood the nature of the community; in other words, I had the right 
attitude.  The type of person who is worried about "wasting" their time 
and effort put into the community before they can reap the rewards of 
Cohousing living would not likely make it through the process of 
becoming a member.

I would say there probably would be resentment about new members if they 
failed to participate, and simply reaped the benefits the community 
living.  This may crop up in the future; and may be already an issue in 
communities that have been around longer.  But if it does crop up, there 
is a mechanism to dealing with the problem.  However, as the poster 
pointed out, the work is far from over, so there is still plenty to 
participate on.

The poster also noted that there is no less work involved, and it costs 
more (not less) per square footage to live in a cohousing community.  
Obvious, the effort and costs of starting up a cohousing community are 
quite enormous at this time; simply becomes the ones doing it are the 
pioneers and trailblazers.  Running a cohousing community does not 
necessary require less time, but it's usually much more enjoyable:
        -Whatever task your doing, your usually doing it with another, 
or others, which makes it more pleasant.
        -You can usually do the tasks you like doing, or are good at; 
and others will do the ones their good at.  For example, I can have the 
benefit of a garden without having the patience's or aptitude of growing 
one.
        -You have greater flexibility of time--you can go on vacation 
for a month and not have to worry about your lawn not being mowed.  You 
have a greater range of tasks that may interest you, and greater variety 
to the work from becoming monotonous.

As far as the poster's comments of paying more per square footage for 
cohousing; this completely ignores the concept of common space.  
Monterey, in particular is blessed with an enormous amount of common 
space, I believe it's over 6000 square foot.  That's 6000 square feet 
available to any individual or family in the community, at any time 
(when not being used by someone else--which is not very often), IN 
ADDITION to the family's private unit.  The point is, most living space, 
even in a family home, is not utilized most of the time, and if it's 
common space, and IS being used, it's being used by someone you know 
well, not by a stranger (as in a public space).

If you were to try to apply a formula to the common space available to 
each resident (which doesn't make a lot of sense); you could multiple 
the space by the percentage that's it's open and available to you--let's 
say %50 (in really it's far higher), then each household has an added 
bonus (in Monterey) of 3000 square feet in addition to their private 
space.  Try pricing a single family home near a city (like Minneapolis) 
with over 3000 square feet!

Finally, the poster mentions the problem of integrating into a tightly 
woven existing community.  I can tell you, Monterey isn't all that 
tightly woven.  This community IS strongly tied in the concept of 
cohousing living, and of participation, cooperation, and sharing; but 
I've seen no other "common thread" in the community; no common religion, 
ideology, or beliefs.  There is CERTAINLY no shunning or separation of 
newcomers; since Monterey is relatively new (3 years), and the members 
in the "second phase" only moved in last January.

Cohousing living certainly isn't for everyone.  But I'm certainly happy 
to have the privilege now of living in one.

-- 
Jim Nordgaard   ~~  Spider Creek  ~~  Monterey Cohousing Community  ~~
Jimn [at] jriver.com ~~  Green Party of Minnesota  ~~  J. River, Inc.  ~~