Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: How do you find the time

[Judy (BAXTER]

In a message dated 12-JUL-1996  "Mela Silva writes:

Many of us quit having lives! We quit seeing friends, quit joining
activities, quit volunteering at school and church. Look at it this way: If
you were building your home .....
How much time and energy would you have for anything else? 
if you were working full time, how long would it take you? 2 or 3 years seems
reasonable. ...
you have to work out details with lots of other people. 
..., you have to lay down a foundation of trust. It takes time, other
things move to the background for a while. 


I have to agree, with a caveat.  You also have to learn to take care of
yourself.  .  I  still go folk dancing once a week, and see very little of
other friends.  And my support group seems less important than rest, often. ANd
my son is grown.  It is my observation that the families with young children DO
tend to participate somewhat less, - I am often amazed at what they have done. 
And a lot varies with time, is it a 2 career family, the age of kids, etc. 

On the other hand, some parts of my life happen more easily.  I wanted a
companion for a walk yesterday, and found one on my 3rd try, within the
community.  Pretty handy, and I needed to get away.  And there is always a
shoulder or an ear if needed.  For someone who lives "alone" 6 days per week,
that's very important.  

The problem is, many of us would never take on building our own houses.  We
have to really want the benefits.

Judy Baxter, Monterey Cohousing Community,(MoCoCo) Twin Cities Area, Mpls.,MN
-- e-mail:      baxter [at] epivax.epi.umn.edu
-- Resident of the "mansion"- the 1st 8 homes in a rehab Georgian building built
as a retirment home in 1924 - 
-- 7 new townhouses (additions to the community) are done! - and occupied, one
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