Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Re: Your bank loan

[Rob Sandelin (Exchange) (Robsan]

Wilie, from Gray Rock commons wrote:    

Another downside to consider is some loss of momentum in 
community development as people move in over a long period of time
rather 
than all at once.  I'm not sure if that is happening at Greyrock since I
have nothing to compare it to.

This can actually be something of a blessing. It lets you adjust bit by
bit and get to know each other better than if you all get dumped into
the "pot" at once.  You will find that the level you knew people at
while all the planning, etc was going on is a tiny tiny fraction of who
your neighbors really are, and now that you live together you will find
lots and lots of new things about each other.  Some good, some not so
good.  Having time to create, adjust, and understand the boundaries you
will need to set coming from living together is a blessing. It will be
much more humane to do this in small bites I think. I would encourage
you to do some delebrate celebratory activities to create patterns. For
example, If you haven't already done a community dinner yet, pay
attention to the noise level and the kids activity level.  These are
crucial things that will drive people away from community dinner
participation so be conscious of them.  

Also create patterns of use for the commonhouse. For example, encourage
people to hang out on Friday nights by having people bring board games,
cards, etc. and get into the pattern of using that space for regularily
scheduled social times.  If you have musicians, encourage them to do a
coffeehouse. Find a parent, or kid friendly adult and organize a kids
play or other activity in the commonhouse.  If you set social patterns
early, it becomes natural and part of your cohousing lifestyle.  Much
much harder to create this later, if the pattern of staying home, maybe
eating dinner once or twice develops.  You have this great window of
opportunity to create a really vibrant and alive social community. Don't
let it slip away.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood
Northwest Intentional Communities Association