Cohousing-L Mailing List: Meeting Ground Rules

[John R. Abrams (jabrams]

Paul Milne asked about meeting "ground rules".  Here are some suggestions,
the bulk of which came to me years ago from Robert Leaver of Organizational
Futures in Providence, Rhode Island.  Over time, I've added a few.  They
mostly seem self-evident, but I find that when people actually think about
these, or, better yet, fully internalize them, good discussion and good
meetings result.

DISCUSSION RULES

1.  Speak candidly, and from the heart.
2.  Listen to others with rapture.
3.  Limit speaking to 30 seconds; express one idea at a time.
4.  Finish each topic before moving on.
5.  Let all who wish to speak on a topic do so before moving on.
6.  Understand that "information" comes in many useful forms:  facts,
opinions, hunches, ideas, feelings, mistakes, and silence.
7.  Aim for balanced participation.
8.  When identifying problems or gripes,  propose a solution at the same time.
9.  Always keep in mind that laughter is a tranquilizer without side
effects, and angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.

Try 'em on; they may be useful.  I've found card and finger systems to feel
forced and artificial in small groups (under 10).

John Abrams
South Mountain Company, Inc. and Island Cohousing at Heartwood
Martha's Vineyard, MA.