Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: effective meetings

[Eves (Eves]

Dear Paul, etal,
Regarding successful meetings.....
Glad you asked.
I have found that I enjoy facilitating meetings very much, and here are some
simple structures I find helpful [ Am skipping some that I consider obvious,
such as listening to one another/ not interrupting, etc.]
 1.  I find it best to start with a few moments of silence....... Anyone from
Quaker/meditative connection is used to this/reasonably comfortable with
it.....and it feels great.  It is something we've agreed to do before each
meeting..... tho many folks skip it..... I think it is invaluable in setting
the tone with a few moments of peace, allowing us to fully arrive, to settle
in.  I think this may be the most special thing I do in running meetings.

2.  Before jumping into the meeting, I've learned to do a pre-view :  I go
down the agenda and ask each person with an agenda item for approx how much
time he or she expects to need for it.  I was taught this by a former member
who tried to initiate it.
When the meeting is in fact in progress, I do a time check, letting the group
know when we are 5 or so minutes from time, and seeing if/how much more we
want to spend on an item...... this is done loosely, and in a relaxed
manner......It does help us to track time, decide if we really want to spend
lots and lots on something, then it's fine...... If we've meandered, it is a
clean way to catch ourselves!

 A group member initiated ' news and goods'..... sometimes known as nudes and
goos.... a fairly quick go-round with each person sharing a piece of news or
something good that's come up.  We've had some discussion about the fact that
often someone is hearing others 'ggods'.... and wishing instead to be asking
for help....

3.  Regarding decisions, we do use consensus and regarding meetings we do use
color cards, most of the time.
I believe  'sleeping on things' often has a magic effect.  So if we are
having trouble reaching consensus, and the need for decision is not urgent,
we put it on Agenda for next meeting.....
This allows us to decompress, give up, often, getting caught up in a
position..... after a week or two, we can often wrap the same decision up
much more readily.  

4.  Before disbanding we choose facilitator and if possible, recorder for
next meeting.

Often after meetings, we would go out to have supper.... this may sound nuts,
but we enjoyed it..... and we are about to move in!!  

Actually I skipped two important elements:  We start w a potluck lunch.......
Having been asked over and over, as the phone contact person for the group,
what is our belief system.... are we a religious group, etc., by folks
calling for info, I finally realized that there seem to be 2 qualities that
are part of self-selecting for our group at Cantine's Island:  A sense of
humor....essential for this , folks.... And enjoyment of good food!  If we
ever get stationary printed, these may be the bannerhead!
All Best,
Ruth Hirsch, Cantine's Island, Saugerties NY/ eves@AOL/914-255-8601