Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Some membership questions

[Bob Maxwell (rmaxwell]

Marty,  I only have time to ponder one of your questions.  Different communities
have tried handling this complex question in many ways.  Some swing to the
extremes - too much "getting to know you" or "too little".  In my experience a
middle path is best.  Spend time together, especially over meals and children..
maybe a few meetings over a month or two.  All this depends too on how your 
legals
and finances are organised - that will cut out many potential members.  After
choosing accept that conflicts will exist in any community so a solid, well
devised conflict resolution methodology is vital.. Be very clear about
philosophies, values, purposes, ideals etc of your community and apply conflict
resolution around these principles.  Ensure that new members agree about your
approaches and will sign an agreement (if your group choose to do things that
way).  There has to be some way of finally settling conflicts if resolution 
within
the community is not possible (eg. outside legals).

My point with all of this is to choose carefully (use all your intuition and
impressions) but in the end there will be things you simply will not know about
the incoming members - think about the pitfalls of marriage not to mention the
divorce rate.. it works or doesn't work in a similar way..   Food for thought -
and useful I hope.. Regards Bob Maxwell - old communard (Australia)

MartyR707 [at] aol.com wrote:

> 2) How does your community become familiar with a potential member before
> approving them into the community? How do you deal with people who aren't
> working out?
>