Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Personal Announcements at Community Meetings

[DHCano (DHCano]

In a message dated 99-03-24 20:04:25 EST, kim_clark [at] compuserve.com writes:

>So, I'm looking for ideas: 
>When you have an audience with a varied appetite for group emotional
>sharing, what guidelines do you use to make it rich yet safe for all? 
>How much structure do I impose?
>What, if anything do I encourage?
>And, What can I expect in these first few meetings???

Congratulations, it sounds like you're committed to putting energy into
developing your group's meeting process!

Suggestions:

First, be very aware of your own agenda.  I can't be sure what it is, but your
post sounds as if fairly deep emotional sharing is your goal.  That is
different from wanting 'whatever is best for this group at this particular
stage of its development', or wanting 'whatever will benefit this group most
in the long run', or wanting 'whatever consensus turns out to be on this'.  

Second, as a practical matter, it is more likely that you can progress from
making it safe to making it 'rich' (though I can't be certain what you mean by
this) than vice versa, except in groups where attendance is mandatory.  If it
feels unsafe, some people will avoid future meetings.  This will impoverish
meetings, not enrich them.

Third, don't forget how hard group change can be.  Changing the culture in a
group (not the rules but the culture) is a developmental process.  How long
has your group been together?  It has had that long to negotiate its current
culture.  And reversing any established pattern may take longer than
establishing it...

This is a complicated subject and I don't want to go on and on about it, but
as a final note I'd suggest reflecting on the possible implications of the
words 'audience' and 'impose' in your questions.

Good luck developing rewarding meetings!

Diane Cano
Ganas