Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Flawed membership process

[PattyMara (PattyMara]

At Tierra Nueva (central California coast) we had no membership 
prequalifications other than an ability to qualify for a mortgage in the 
amount necessary to purchase an available unit.  We kind of trusted whoever 
showed up to self select (or decline) after attending a few meetings and 
getting to know us.  One buyer purchased a home without even meeting us.  It 
was difficult to sustain the trust sometimes, because it felt so random.

Then we had a taste of what happens when a unit becomes a competitive object 
of desire to more than one qualified buyer.  After all of our homes were 
"contracted" for sale and everyone had made their $6000 buy-in one of our 
beloved elders, Marya, died unexpectedly on the land while visiting her 
homesite.  In the time of  grieving that followed we had to face the 
confusing issues of her family's financial decisions, getting compensated for 
the customizations she had chosen to make on her home, and clearing the 
probate hurdles so that we could put her unit up for sale.  Many interested 
buyers stepped up with intentions to purchase and we had to develop a process 
to decide who to choose.  

In our marketing plan we had intentionally advertised to seniors, because of 
a promise we had made to the former owner of our land to have at least 25% of 
our group be seniors.  At the time we were about 50% seniors so we were 
hoping to attract a family with children....and that we did, as well as 
senior hopefuls.  It was such a difficult decision for the group to have the 
power to choose one over another.  So with much thought we developed a 
criteria for deciding which helped clarify the confusion.  A couple of the 
points I remember are:  Can the interested buyers complete a contract for 
sale for the full purchase price (including customizations)  in a timely 
manner?    How long have they been coming around to meetings and social 
gatherings and shown an interest in community living?

After evaluation and long circle check/discussions we made a decision, by 
consensus.  One of the interested buyers was at the meeting, a senior couple, 
and we asked them to leave while we discussed and voted.  It was a tearful 
experience for me personally, because even though I was drawn to select the 
young family with a baby on the way (and I'm a midwife), I decided to give my 
decision to Marya.  As my "other mother", Marya's voice continued to speak to 
me in spirit long after her death. 
So I asked her who she wanted living in her home. Her answer was clear.  As i 
shared her decision in one of the circle discussions I felt absolutely sure 
that she knew what she was talking about.  We voted unanimously to accept the 
senior couple's offer to purchase her home, called them in from the next door 
neighbor's where they were waiting. Then welcomed them home.    

It has been clear since then that this elder couple has contributed immensely 
to the heart and soul of our community.  Even though we *thought* we needed 
more children in our numbers, the reality was that we needed those particular 
folk, no matter what their age, because of their unique blend of personality, 
wisdom and energy. 

I'm glad we didn't have to use that decision process again...and I would hope 
that when the time comes for a resale in our community that the transition 
will be smooth.  But that remains for the future to tell.  Meanwhile I'm 
going to continue to trust that whoever shows up will be here for a reason.  

coheartedly,
Patty Mara
Tierra Nueva Cohousing
where a drainage swail has just been redesigned to channel better, and I've 
already received 2 phone calls letting me know that there is fresh concrete 
recently poured which needs some artwork carved into it.