Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: House Blessings

[Gretchen Westlight (gren]

Hello All -

A couple of thoughts on House Blessings and Letting Go rituals.

Nancy Brady Cunningham has an outline for a lovely House Blessing ritual
in her book _Feeding the Spirit_.  She recommends a candle-lit procession
through the house; sitting in a circle around a large bowl of water into
which each participant puts a bit of salt while speaking a wish for
purity, followed by adding a sprig of fresh rosemary with a wish for
protection, then each participant takes a cup of the water outside to
sprinkle on the foundation around the house as all sing "Simple Gifts." 
("'Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free...") 

For our induction ceremonies at Cascadia, I'm adding an element of music
with 2 choices so far: "Simple Gifts" and "Consider Yourself" from
_Oliver!_.  We have also used some of the verses and the chorus to "Yellow
Submarine" as celebrations of our connection in the past.  There are 2
songs that can be used for hello *and* farewell: "Turn, Turn, Turn" ("To
everything, turn, turn, turn, There is a season...") and "Blessing" by
Brewer and Shipley (I've never heard their version, but Motherlode covers
it on their recent "Precious Stone" CD -- I used it in my wedding, and we
use it in Cascadia for farewell ceremonies).  Any of these might work in a
House Blessing; the owner could choose. 

Inspired by this thread, I made a spontaneous purchase today at our local
new age bookshop (which I can sort of justify -- as a business expense for
my dormant ceremony design business).  It's called _A House Blessing_ by
Welleran Poltarnees (Puget Sound area writer).  It looks like a children's
book, and is filled with pithy things to say at a House Blessing.  Very
nostalgic design -- lovely!  This book would be great for the original
query on this topic.

As for Letting Go, we did a ceremony around New Year's that involved
writing what we most wanted to let go of on leaves from the property, and
then casting them into the stream.  We moved on to the place where our CH
livingroom will be (it was then a small grove of trees), and recited our
community vows together (first time out loud as a group). 

Other things to do for Letting Go: write what you want to let go of on a
card, tie the card to a helium balloon and release it (not for the strict
environmentalists); have each person choose a stone (or a biodegradeable
object), put the intention of what they want to let go of into the object,
drop them into a hole in procession (someone can do a "destroyer" chant --
was very powerful when I did it in a workshop with Michael Meade with a
woman chanting in Hindu), then bury them (be careful where you choose to
do this ;-).

Other things to do to affirm connection: put your intention into scraps of
fabric, and singing a community song (doesn't have to be in English!) take
turns tying them to a tree or bush in the center of the community -- like
Tibetan prayer flags, they will be a reminder of the intent; use yarn or
string to tie each other together in a circle to become "one," then cut
the yarn and each take a piece of the whole (Tierra Nueva does something
like this in their inductions -- I love the way it sounds!).

With any ceremony or ritual, you can put whatever spin on it you want: the
letting go can be a ceremony of sadness after someone dies or moves away,
or it can be about letting go of anger and negativity.  Ask how much
people want to share, or make it optional.  In Cascadia we have some folks
who rarely participate in group ceremonies or rituals, some who show up
but don't speak, and others of us who can't get enough (guess where I fit
in? ;-).

Consider whether you want to do your ceremony indoors or out, daytime or
night, side talk allowed or silence except for specific invitations to
speak.

There are lots of books about rituals and ceremonies, some of them way
"out there" and others fairly mainstream.  Check out *your* local new age
bookstore for more ideas.  (I was there today to buy a video called "Take
Joy! The Magical World of Tasha Tudor" -- I *love* this video!  While I
don't want to live in the style of the 1830s as Tudor does, there are some
lovely themes of living your dream, and creating the family and extended
community that you wish to have.  I'd recommend it for cohousing folks,
getting back to a recent thread.  I first rented it from our library -- it
was in the kid vid section.) 

I take pains, in my business and when I do ceremonies for Cascadia, to
keep them non-denominational -- or maybe I mean belief-inclusive, which of
course includes non-belief.  I find if too much time is spent during the
ceremony at accommodating everyone's specific beliefs, that it detracts
from the power and beauty of what we're sharing.  Still, I don't want
anyone to feel left out or put down because of something I (or other
ritual leader) did or didn't say.  It's a fine line, especially as you are
getting to know each other -- as we still are in Cascadia. 

Anyhow, I hope this is helpful.

I do intend to reply to the email and shell game threads, but there's been
no time!

Gretchen Westlight
Cascadia Commons
Portland, OR, USA

I won't even say what the latest delay in closing our loan is.  We have
the most bizarre luck!  I used to go around thinking, "At least we don't
have it as bad as Marsh Commons."  Lately, I'm not so sure.  Different,
but sheesh.  We'll fill you in after all of our funding is secure.