Cohousing-L Mailing List: "Like Minded People"

[Sharon Villines (sharonvillines]

I initially posted the question about people's associations with the phrase
"like-minded people" because it is a phrase that I find very painful to hear
or read. Since I see it most often in cohousing contexts or in conservative
political forums, I wanted to know if cohousing people had forgotten that
this phrase was used to enforce segregation or is currently used to tag
conservatives for each other.

It was not a question about what words should mean or could mean, or what
words are, although those responses were very good ones from the very bright
folks on this list. I particularly liked the ones which suggested that the
best way to deal with negative terms is to take them over and change the
meaning, and those that questioned "Who would want to live with like-minded
people anyway?"

The question was directly related to a posting on a cohousing web site (and
previous postings on other cohousing web sites) that a person's desire to
live in cohousing was because he or she was looking forward to living with
"like-minded people." Some have invited others to join if they were
"like-minded."

My intention was two-fold: 1) to find out how widely the exclusionary
meaning exists, and 2) to alert people that this is a loaded phrase that
(for at least some people) is _more_ painful than "no niggers"--a phrase
that none of us would allow to be posted on any of our websites.

"No niggers" is accepted as so obviously stupid that it rarely appears
anywhere--I think those were "taking it over" have even given it up.
"Like-minded" is more subtle and thus much harder to defend against -- for
those to whom it has painful associations.

What I discovered from my post to Cohousing-L and the Takoma Village list,
is that this phrase does have painful meanings to more than just me, but
these are not widely shared. Many seem to be unaware of them.

At least some of the people for whom this is a painful phrase heard it used
in contexts where the conservative rich were concerned with their
exclusivity. Thus the exclusionary use of "like-minded" may also have
class-connotations  which results in its not being as well-known to the
middle classes. I learned it by over-hearing it as a servant (since servants
are, at best, invisible) in rooms dripping with diamonds. "Like-minded" may
be one of those phrases that bond the "bottom to the top" missing the whole
in between.

When writing bios for websites or using them in literature that is intended
to communicate an image to the general public, it is important to be aware
of meanings and shades of meanings of various words and phrases.

Thus, my point is that co-housers should be aware that this is not a neutral
phrase to at least some people and you may want to avoid it unless you are
directly addressing someone who shares "your" meaning of the phrase.

Sharon
-- 
Sharon Villines, Editor
The MacGuffin Guide to Detective Fiction
http://www.macguffin.net
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington, DC
http://www.takomavillage.org