Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Overgeneralisations of Great Facilitation?

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

If your group is lucky enough to have people with skill sets in group
facilitation and emotional dynamics then you have great potential to have a
functional process. However, the lowest common denominator of skill and
commitment to healthy process  can drive people who are highly skilled to
banging their heads against a wall, because they know what works, how to do
healthy work together, but can't get others to engage to do this. So, I have
seen folks like this in communities withdraw out of  leadership positions
out of frustration, and become cynical and detached.

I have also seen skilled folks in groups take people to places they did not
want to go, because in their experience, this is "what is good for them."
This can be especially problematic when it is sprung on people without their
knowledge or consent. I occasionally tread this edge  myself in my work,
sometimes I fall off the deep end, sometimes I stay in the shallow end of
the pool. So far, I haven't drowned anybody yet, but there are places I am
sure I will not be asked back because I engaged some folks way deeper than
some ever wanted  to go. Half the group thought this was wonderful, the
other half thought it was a disaster.

So, as a person works within their own group you may be best served to let
those that want to go into the deep end of the emotional work pool to go
there without dragging all the rest of the group along who are not sure they
can swim, or that they even want to get wet. You can do this work with
subsets  of people and get great, inspiring community building out of it:
just not everybody is interested or ready for such things.

Rob

-----Original Message-----
From: cohousing-l [at] freedom2.mtn.org
[mailto:cohousing-l [at] freedom2.mtn.org]On Behalf Of Hans Tilstra
Sent: Monday, September 04, 2000 4:36 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list
Subject: Re: Overgeneralisations of Great Facilitation?


In my observation, people with a Phd are more likely to develop a lovely
sense of knowing & not knowing. Alternatively, people with a Phd may know
quite a lot in a niche area.  Talk about being on the other extreme of a
polarity!

I think that we are sharing ideas of what makes for great facilitators. Mind
you, we're talking about facilitating cohousing, not the development of a
therapeutic community. Who is being served when a burning soul starts to
find the emotionality of a group fascinating. Who is being served when we
delve into the psychosocial side of groups?

Given that this group has an extensive number of readers, what are your
experiences with good & bad facilitation? What irritates, what helps?

love to know,
Hans