Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Senority--Pros and Cons

[Berrins (Berrins]

In a message dated 10/30/2000 1:29:53 PM, sharonvillines [at] prodigy.net 
writes:

<< Working things out based on expressed needs is often viewed as more caring
but is a process that can easily give the win to the least hard-working
(thus the more needy), the most verbal, and those with the most time and
energy available to argue. >>

I agree.  It's like the haggling with a car salesperson; you have to play 
some sort of pushy, arcane bargaining game to get the best price.  I hate it. 
 People who don't like confrontation get a worse price.  Niceness is not 
rewared.

To certain degrees, this also happens in every community; just go to your 
next town meeting.  "The squeeky wheel gets the grease" and so on.  
Fortunately, we can rise above this system.  Seniority is one way, while not 
perfect, to reward those who have stuck with the process through the early 
uncertainty and difficult decisions.  Pushiness is not a factor.

The reality is that some house sites will be more desirable than others.  
Hopefully, this can be minimized.  But some sort of ranking system must be 
used to choose (unless you draw lots) and that runs against the cohousing 
grain.

Also, you may find, as John Ryan at Pioneer warned us, that after living 
there awhile you would have picked a different site had you known x, y or z.  
Since you won't know this in advance, don't get too worked up about picking a 
site.  Find a site selection process, use it and move on. 

    -Roger Berman
      Pathways
      Northampton, MA