Cohousing-L Mailing List: Healing the community after terrorism

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

I wanted to share with you our experience this week, in the hope that it
will not only help you deal with the atrocities in NY and Washington, but
inspire you to continue to develop your cohousing community in the face of
sometimes difficult obstacles. Cohousing is, by its very existence as a
community whose members share only a desire for community, a rebuke to those
who would divide our communities along ethnic or religious lines.

A member suggested to our internal listserve that we have some sort of
ceremony or service on Sunday to help us deal with our grief. In true coho
fashion, the originator of the idea couldn't be there at the time we had
agreed to, so she handed over the reigns to another. Meg did a great job
with creating a meeting that was more like a service. We all spoke about
those we know who are affected by this, and we had several people whose
presence was meaningful and illuminating.

Our newest member family has the Dad working to finish his degree in New
York, while the rest of the family is here. He flew in yesterday to be with
his family and is very shaken. He says we just can't understand the
magnitude of the devastation that is in NY. His first reaction was to fear
for his son, who used to be in day-care near the site of the attack, but who
now is safe in Sacramento. He was relieved to remember that.

We are fortunate to have as our neighbors the country's oldest mosque. Many
of the mosque's members live nearby. We were all concerned that they know we
value them as neighbors, so Meg suggested to our little group that we bring
flowers to the mosque. At the time she suggested it, we weren't sure of our
close neighbor, Mohammed, would be coming to our meeting, but he did, and
brought a wonderful rice dish as well. He sat next to one of our teenagers,
who sang a Jewish prayer in Hebrew and English for the families of the
victims. We also sang a Christian hymn and recited two main precepts of
Buddhism together. He spoke at length and his comments are at the end of
this letter.

I wish you could have seen our little group in the common house sitting
room. Christians, Jews, Buddhists, and a Muslim all sitting together praying
for peace! There were, of course, atheists there too, sending their positive
thoughts to those in need as well.

I felt that it was important to speak of specific people who were hurt by
this attack. The closest person to me, that I know about so far, was Joe
Sisolak. He worked on the 97th floor of the North Tower, and had no chance
to get out. He was married. I remember him as the very smart, cute, serious
younger brother of my brother's friend in high school.

I was unable to attend the walk down the street to the mosque, because my
husband was at work and I needed to get the kids home and ready for bed. But
I will paste in what my community member, Laura wrote about the experience
to the Southside Park Cohousing list:

>Hi All,
>Just letting those of you who weren't able to join the gathering tonight, or
> who chose not to participate, that it went very well. Thank you Meg for
> doing a great job facilitating. Mohammed, our neighbor on 4th Street came,
> as did Katie's husband Cesar (who just flew in from Manhattan and gave us an
> eyewitness description of the situation there as of today). There was
> sharing; I'm not attempting to represent everything that was said, but I
> found it personally very healing and inspiring too. Afterwards, we brought
> flowers over to the mosque on V Street. We were given flowers by the
> gardener there and ended up coming home with handfuls of flowers from their
> grounds; more flowers than we came with! We also met Qasmi, who is the Imam,
> or priest of the mosque. (Qasmi is his name, and Imam is his title.) He told
> us that this mosque is the oldest in the Western U.S., and perhaps in the
> U.S. (a friendly dispute is going on with a mosque in Detroit which claims
> to be older). He and everyone who gathered were very friendly and
> appreciated our visit. He even offered to have us stay for their evening
> prayer tonight, but many of us felt we were inappropriately dressed. He
> offered to find clothing for us to put on! We didn't want to impose to that
> extent, so we declined.
> 
> He has extended an invitation to any or all of us, to come to a service next
> Saturday evening at 5:30 p.m. Dress code: cover your legs and arms. Pants,
> jeans are okay. Women can wear pants if they like but are requested to cover
> their heads if possible. Wear close-toed shoes. (If someone has better info
> on this, please correct me.)
> 
> Action items: a) Consider whether you would like to attend next Saturday. b)
> Consider calling our councilperson to ask them to extend the police sentry
> of the mosque beyond next Saturday. There has been a police officer
> stationed at 4th and U all week, all hours. It is the largest mosque, I
> believe Qasmi said, in California, and so could be vulnerable to possible
> hate crimes. A police officer is scheduled to be there through the end of
> the week. Laurisa talked to him to let him know what we were doing, why we
> approached the mosque, and he told her this. He also said that he personally
> felt that police sentry should be extended beyond next week, and the best
> way to make this happen would be to call our councilperson.
> 
> This was a wonderful learning experience for me and I won't forget it. Eight
> years we've been here and now I can say that I have set foot within the
> gates of the mosque.
> 
> Good night,
> Laura
> 
> Hi Again,
> Just a quick p.s. to add that both Mohammed and Qasmi emphasized that the
> Koran forbids the taking of innocent life, and that those who are doing it
> in the name of the Muslim faith are doing so to promote their own ends, that
> they are not really supported by the teachings of the faith.
> 
> (Mohammed even paraphrased from the Koran that one should not walk with
> chest out in a "macho" fashion, but rather with eyes down to be respectful
> of all life, even insect life on the sidewalk.)
> 
> Laura

_______________________________________________
Cohousing-L mailing list
Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org  Unsubscribe  and other info:
http://www.communityforum.net/mailman/listinfo/cohousing-l