Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Community within community?

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

Closed groups within community are not uncommon. For example, I have seen
many groups which have gender based subgroups, and even some communities
have personal growth type groups which are not open for anybody in the
community to just drop in on. I also know of places where partner swapping
occurs and this too is a closed situation.

In general, these types of closed groups are almost always a minority of
time, where there are many open groups to be a part of.

I once did a 9 month personal growth intensive with a subgroup that was
closed. The relationships of those people were very different than the
general surrounding community. This was by design, those people wanted that
kind of intensity and closeness and so chose to make the commitment.

Sometimes people find themselves unhappy because no one in the community
does not resound with their particular value, desire or need. However often
these people don't really try very hard at leadership either. For example,
in a community I visited once a woman complained to me that "nobody is into
Yoga here and so I have to go all the way to town". It turns out that she
tried to get a yoga class going and insisted upon a time for the class that
met her needs and no one else's and so...no class. This was brought up and a
yoga class was tried again. Apparently it stuck, its still going on 2  years
later.

So if you feel that your needs aren't being met, you might want to get
together with a couple of other folks and ask for  help strategizing how to
make it happen.

Rob Sandelin
Community Works!

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