Cohousing-L Mailing List: Fw: Handling disputes in cohousing

[George Krasle (GSKrasle]

>>>Sorry, but now I found where the "switch" for HTML vs. Plain Text is.

I would like to thank folks for their kind responses to my earlier posting;
I know from past experience that I tend to get a reaction a lot like having
thrown rocks at a hornet nest, but to relieve the frustration I have
experienced, and to save others from experiencing it, I am quite willing to
suffer a bit. And have done.

I truly want to know whether there was something more I could have done to
avoid the exclusion and marginalization and denial; I have to take to heart
the suggestions that my personality has a lot to do with it, but some of my
concerns are so imminent that a program of thought reform would be too slow.
I used the whole horticulture fiasco as an example, because of its
(relative) simplicity. Other concerns I had there were my concern about
likely lead contamination in the common house/mess hall water (and my desire
to be allowed to test it, or to replace the suspect plumbing, at my own
expense), one big deposit (and unknown other ones) of sawdust from
arsenic-treated lumber, a fuel leak of unknown, but soil-saturating,
quantity from a fuel tank near the well-head (we were instructed not to tell
anyone about this), a damaged, rotten and unstable treehouse the kids
(including mine) play in, the two older girls there (including my 10-yo)
waiting for the school bus alone in an isolated place, the kids having made
a formal proposal to be allowed a play-house, which was approved but later
rescinded, and other things.

Minor concerns are likewise numerous, and include the lack of recycling done
as thoroughly as I am used to and even the much-vaunted common meals, for
which payment is required of everyone, even if not everyone can attend, and
some, including me, could RARELY attend. In this case, I had little
incentive, as people would leave the table if I sat down ("shunning"), an
obviously humiliating experience for my wife and children.

I would be very interested in hearing the positions of others, especially of
the leaders of Songaia, as I agree that this is a one-sided account; but I
don't want to "win" or score points, I just want to see a way for myself and
others to avoid such disputes and dangers in the future, to solve problems.
Results-oriented. Co-housing is a beautiful idea, but I have only seen one
implementation up-close, and on the strength of that, I would have to say I
prefer my old neighborhood, where I knew all the neighbors, and put a great
deal of effort into making my skills and tools available and helpful,
especially in horticulture and landscaping, house-sitting, watching kids,
cooking, etc. (Not much call for Engineering in a neighborhood of
already-built houses.) I would be happy to suffer some vandalism and a few
burglaries in exchange for the opportunity to once again have a place I feel
is safe for my kids, some garden space, a greenhouse, and space for a home
office/lab (basement?) for my business.

Oh, and I am interested in getting in touch with Mr. Sandahn Gmazel.

George S. Krasle
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