Cohousing-L Mailing List: Common sense/lessons of cohousing

[Cheryl A. Charis-Graves (ccharis]

On 10/26/02 10:33 PM, "Casey Morrigan" <cjmorr [at] pacbell.net> wrote:
> 
> My lesson learned is that it might be more important to make the work around
> here easy than it is to institute tight controls on money and decisions.
> Good accountability for money and work comes not from tight structure and
> oversight but true desire to do the work, stamina, internal motivation.
> This internal motivation is the counter to burnout.  Don't throw away
> accountability, just make it common sense and facilitate the birthing of
> ideas.  If you can help someone get "their heart's desire" in cohousing then
> go do it!
> 

I love this in two ways.

I love it when we use "what makes sense" in such a fundamental way. And I
love the idea of evolving as we go along, that we can learn about what makes
sense, that we can take the advice of someone like Rob who takes the time to
write his thoughts out in a complete way so we can think about it, absorb
it, and apply it to our own situation. I love the idea that we can allow
ourselves, both individually and collectively, to be changed by an
experience instead of clinging to old patterns that may have worked before
but are better let go of now.

I like the idea of the "lessons of cohousing," as well. Think there is a
book there. I have always bristled at the phrase about consensus
decision-making: it should be slow, it should be hard. I am more of the mind
that we should be discerning about what choices need to be slow and what
choices can be done less laboriously. When we pre-define a process as slow
and laborious, I think we set ourselves up for pain and suffering. Some
kinds of decisions require thoughtfulness and that implies a span of time.
However, it is not a necessary and sufficient condition. More time does not
necessarily insure a better decision.

I appreciate Casey's example of how the portable basketball hoop was
initially rejected (in his/her mind) and then permitted. I believe that kind
of generosity of spirit and compassion for the Other is an essential
learning available in cohousing.

Just one woman's thoughts . . .

Cheryl

-- 
Cheryl Charis-Graves
Harmony Village Cohousing
Golden, Colorado




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