Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: move-in question re-phrased...

[Jim Snyder-Grant (jimsg]

Be prepared for the heavy nesting phase.  Families going inward to more
familiar insular ways in order to recover from the shock of moving. Moving
is intense & tiring & bewildering.  There's a source of potential additional
stress at move-in time you can actually do something about: the expectation
that all newcomers should be connecting with each other, and participating
fully in community life right away, and feeling great about cohousing right
away.

Go easy on your new neighbors. And especially go easy on yourself if you've
just moved. A hot bath or a solitary read or a simple dinner with just your
familiar housemates may be just what the newly-moved household needs. Think
of moving as just slightly less stressful than surgery, and act accordingly.

I don't think adding in a lot of expectations or process or policy is going
to help much. Just expect a roller coaster, and hold on.

-Jim
--
Jim Snyder-Grant
jimsg [at] newview.org
18 Half Moon Hill
Acton MA 01720
New View Cohousing
http://www.newview.org
On Tue, 21 Jan 2003 21:38:56 -0500 Ted Chesky <tchesky [at] earthlink.net>
writes:
>what I really meant to ask about were
> interpersonal or community difficulties that commonly come up around
move-in time,
> or  within the first months afterwards, rather than actual move-in
logistics
> (issues around learning to live together, setting boundaries, gossip,
and
> privacy come to mind). We'd like to do some advance thinking about
> how to handle them.



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