Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: conservatives (was Encouraging MultiGen)

[Meg Palley (megp]

I hadn't read your response when I wrote mine, pleased to see the
consideration for the comfort of someone differing in outlook, rather than
judging  them wrong.

Greg Dunn wrote:

> That sounds like a good approach to me. I mean, if you tell them all
> that stuff and they still want to live there, maybe they're not quite as
> different from those of you already living there as they first seemed.
>
> I loved the line about carpooling... 8-)
>
> Greg Dunn
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: cohousing-l-admin [at] cohousing.org
> [mailto:cohousing-l-admin [at] cohousing.org] On Behalf Of Lynn Nadeau
> Sent: Friday, January 31, 2003 3:13 PM
> To: cohousing L
> Subject: [C-L]_Re: conservatives (was Encouraging MultiGen)
>
> Reading about other groups' past situations with conservatives (for lack
>
> of a better descriptor) reminds me of how I handled it in two different
> situations. In each case, my emphasis was not on whether or not the
> potential joiner was "desirable" or not, but making sure THEY would feel
>
> comfortable. After all, if you are a bunch of hippy liberal granola
> mamas, someone way different would potentially feel much more threatened
>
> than the larger group would.
>
> In one case, I knew that family members of the prospective members were
> right-wing fundamentalists, and didn't know where they themselves fit on
>
> that spectrum.  They actually were around quite a lot, and made it known
>
> they were thinking of moving here permanently. What I said was something
>
> like this: "I don't know what your religion or politics are, but we
> welcome diversity and you can believe anything you want, of course. I do
>
> want you to know who you are joining, and that we include (I forget the
> exact numbers then) 2 Quakers, 5 Unitarians, 2 Buddhists, 6 Jews, and a
> number of people who would identify as atheist, pagan, or Wiccan; our
> members include people who are divorced, living together unmarried,
> single mothers, and 7 homosexuals, some in couples, some single. You'd
> need to be able to comfortably coexist with all that." The response
> surprised me, " Oh, my daughter is gay..." But at least I'd avoided them
>
> moving here then freaking out.
>
> In another case, we extended our usual recruitment hospitality to a
> couple, and the husband was a nuclear submarine captain, who was
> thinking
> he might get stationed at Bangor Sub Base, in the next county, where the
>
> Trident fleet is kept. I mentioned to him that he would need to be
> comfortable with after-dinner announcements of local peace activism, and
>
> even RoseWind members who might periodically engage in civil
> disobedience
> at Bangor. I jokingly said, "Maybe now and then we could carpool..." He
> ended up stationed elsewhere so they were no longer looking in this
> area.
> But again, my focus was on his comfort, and that felt ok to me. I really
>
> wouldn't mind more-conservative people living here, as long as they
> didn't proselytize or act upset that the liberals were so liberal.
>
> In many respects, what I try to do in my marketing role is give people
> enough information that they can meaningfully self select, and not later
>
> have any huge surprises, whether political, social, or even just about
> how much work it really is.
>
> Lynn Nadeau, RoseWind Cohousing
> Port Townsend Washington (Victorian seaport, music, art, nature)
> http://www.rosewind.org http://www.ptguide.com
> http://www.ptforpeace.info (very active peace movement here- see our
> photo)
>
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