Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Fifty Plus Cohousing

[Sara A. (mabonwy]

At 11:39 AM 2/19/03 -0700, you wrote:
>  I was
> responding to a person who I thought was expressing
> dissatisfaction with the abscense of such committment, so I was attempting
> to point out that if such a committment isn't made in an age-restricted
> community the result might end up
> being similar.
>
> IMO looking into people's expectations and clarifying a community's
> attitude around what level of committment is expected could save trouble
> in the future. As I see it, it doesn't have anything to do with cohousing
> being a "shrink shop" (or not).

I agree with this, and that was also my interpretation of your earlier 
remarks.  If someone feels isolated or otherwise that the community is not 
addressing their needs, that is really a community relationships issue, not 
an age issue, and assuming that it will be solved by moving into a 
different community is not a good assumption to make.

I have found in my own life that when I assume that people who have the 
same interests and seem like me on the surface are "friend" material, and 
other people aren't, that I'm usually wrong.  I've learned to go by 
intuition, whether or not I FEEL a connection to someone...which is often 
based on whether I'm open or willing to....and that surface characteristics 
count for very little.  I also think that someone who isn't open to people 
who are different from them is going to feel isolated no matter where they are.

Sara


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