Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: RE: Request to not talk at meetings

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

We just had a very intense weekend with Laird Schaub that centered on 
resolving conflicts. In one of the small sessions one person became 
very emotional and was concerned about how the situation would be 
portrayed to the larger group. The person wasn't suggesting that it be 
kept a secret but wanted some care taken in describing what happened.

Laird made suggestions about how to describe what happened, 
characterizing it in straight forward non-toxic language that the 
persons involved were comfortable with and explained what was being 
done to further attend to hurt feelings.

Doing this relieved the tension in the whole group and removed the need 
for further discussion. Acknowledging a situation is much better than 
trying to "ignore the pink elephant in the corner." It allows everyone 
to relax and let the parties involved work it out. When the affected 
parties can approve the explanation, it helps them feel that they are 
being treated compassionately and presented as adults who are under 
control and can handle their problems without help.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org

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