Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: overburdened "kool-aid" mom

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

You need to set limits for yourself. Nobody else will do it for you. If you
don't want 8 kids in your house, kick them out! They can play somewhere
else. If you are entertaining them as well, I can see why they want to stay
at your house.

One of the things one learns in cohousing is how to set boundaries, and that
is your task. I don't think this is something all that complicated that
needs you to deal with every parent. The kids are responsible for checking
in with their parents, and their parents are responsible for taking care of
them. If you volunteer to do all the work, people will let you.

Also, in cohousing, you may find that your kid goes to someone else's house
for hours on end as well.

-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California
tamgoddess [at] attbi.com
> Hi--
> 
> After trying to get a group to agree on land for over four years, my husband
> and I are giving up on Hartford and signing on to join Rocky Hill Cohousing
> in Northampton, Mass.  Groundbreaking will be in the fall.
> 
> I am wondering what other parents have experienced in cohousing with the
> packs of children that tend to congregate and play together.
> 
> Today, for example, I have eight children playing on my patio and in my
> yard. That is great for my children to have so many friends.  What is not so
> great, is that my house is always full of these children whose parents seem
> to not check in or call for many hours at a time.   I actually have to call
> each parent and "check in" and send the kids home.
> 
> In addition to this, I do not allow my kids to watch very much television
> and limit electronics, so I end up "helping" them find something interesting
> to do.  It takes up much time and energy.
> 
> It would be helpful to hear how this scenario plays out in cohousing.  My
> wish is that the kids all play OUTSIDE like in the commonhouse plaza area or
> woods with all of us parents sort of collectively policing and watching
> them.
> 
> While my children have a little community of their own,  what is lacking --
> with my neighborhood of back yards fenced off from each other -- is
> collective parenting.  I am hoping for a little more give and take...
> 
> Is this a fantasy?
> 
> -Shelly DeMeo
> Rocky Hill Cohousing
> Northampton, Mass.
> 16 sold out of 28 if anyone is interested

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