Cohousing-L Mailing List: Conflict, Community vs. personal

[Mary English (Mary.English]

Rob, 
     Your observation echoed my statement precisely word for word.  "I didn't 
move in to be part of a group therapy meeting." That was my response after 
listening to members take up several hours of group time while they argued 
about previous events of a personal nature between each other.  
     I have never objected to dealing with conflict involving a cohousing 
decision, but I really don't want to know about the neighbor's marital affairs, 
unfaithful spouses, etc., during community business meetings or retreats.  
Please, take it to your therapist!!!
     Some in cohousing want a home where they know who the neighbors are, and 
can share the community work;  others seem to think they have joined a group 
for therapy and constantly tell everyone how much they love everybody, and want 
to work on everyones "problems" and help them "change".
     My feeling is that if personal emotional problems between individuals are 
keeping a cohousing decision from going forward, then that needs to be resolved 
between them privately, with a facilitator, but not scheduled for an entire 
community meeting.
       

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