Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Concerning Consensus and established CoHo communities

[normangauss (normangauss]

What happens to the people who are not caring and prefer to emphasize their
personal preferences over the community's?

Norm G.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Rob Sandelin" <floriferous [at] msn.com>
To: "'Cohousing-L'" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 9:49 AM
Subject: RE: [C-L]_ Concerning Consensus and established CoHo communities


> I would strongly disagree that dealing with lawyers is any way to deal
with
> situations described. If your goal is to be a community, then you need to
> focus on how to do that. I can say with some confidence that lawyers and
> rules will not make a community of caring people.
>
> Rob Sandelin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sharon Villines [mailto:sharon [at] sharonvillines.com]
> Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 7:14 AM
> To: Cohousing-L
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Concerning Consensus and established CoHo communities
>
> > From: normangauss [at] charter.net [mailto:normangauss [at] charter.net]
> > Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Concerning Consensus and established CoHo
> > communities
> >
>
> > I would guess that until we decide on some goals, we will not be able
> > to have a sociocracy.
>
> Another lister called yours a very sad story. I would say "Great! You now
> have a lot to work with."
>
> Everything you have mentioned as a problem -- people digging up common
> elements, fencing in common elements, etc. happens in all condos. Lack of
> agreements certainly happens in all cohousing communities. Do not despair.
>
> When in doubt go back to square one. Everyone who moved in agreed to the
> statements in the condo docs and in the Bylaws. What do they say?
> Who is on your board? What does your lawyer say?
>
> Some one has to take leadership. Two or three people working together
would
> be good. I'm sure that many on the list would say that the three have to
> have the support of the community (permission) to do anything but if that
> were true we would all be living in caves.
>
> "Leaders are people who have the power within themselves to recognize a
need
> and apply imagination and intelligence to implement a solution.
> They develop whatever skills are necessary and work collectively with
others
> to implement solutions."
>
> This is a situation made for a leader! Nothing breeds success like
success.
> Once you get forward movement, people will relax and you can begin
building
> a consensus around some things. People will also relax if a leader steps
> forward and assures each person that they will work to satisfy as many of
> the personal needs as possible. One way or another it can be done. Many of
> these perceived needs will fall away in the process.
>
> Remember the word "temporary" -- for now it sounds like you very much need
a
> temporary dog run, a temporary garden, and a temporary playground. I would
> suggest setting these up asap and short of armed guards, insist that they
> stay put even if only one household is using them.
>
> I think it is also typical that a year after move-in everyone is just
> exhausted and angry about something. No move every lives up its billing.
No
> one can accomplish everything they want to accomplish. This is an
inevitable
> let down. Just don't despair. It will pick up again.
>
> Sharon
> ---
> Sharon Villines
> Building Community: A Newsletter on Coops, Condos, Cohousing, and Other
New
> Neighborhoods http://www.buildingcommunitynews.org
>
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