Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: dealing with vandalism by off-site teens

[Robert Heinich (robert_heinich]

Laura,

Thanks for the kind words.

>>> Are the parents receptive to the type of support that your community can 
>>> offer?
We believe the parents of one of the boys will work with us.  His mom said she 
is very thankful for all the good things our community has done for her son and 
the compassion she witnessed towards him in our meeting the other night.    We 
are not as hopeful with the father of the other boy.

-Robert Heinich
 Eno Commons Cohousing
 Durham, NC


-- "Laura Fitch" <lfitch [at] krausfitch.com> wrote:
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From: "Laura Fitch" <lfitch [at] krausfitch.com>
To: "Cohousing-L" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>,
        <robert [at] enocommons.org>
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Subject: Re: [C-L]_ dealing with vandalism by off-site teens
Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2005 11:45:34 -0400
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Robert,

So sorry to hear of your troubles.

We had a resident teenager burgalize a few houses MANY years ago.  It was 
more on a dare than anything malicious and it resolved itself well with his 
confession, apology, and paying people back.

More recently we had some mental-illness-related vandalism, that also 
resolved itself well with support to parent, medical attention, etc.  It was 
very scary, mostly because we saw a lovely child member of our community 
transformed nearly overnight by mental illness.

The only advice I can give you is to keep up the talk especially with the 
parents of the troubled youth, and the kids of your community.  Are the 
parents receptive to the type of support that your community can offer?

Laura

Laura E. Fitch, AIA, LEED
Kraus-Fitch Architects, Inc.
110 Pulpit Hill Rd.
Amherst, MA  01002

413-549-5799
lfitch [at] krausfitch.com

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert" <robert [at] enocommons.org>
To: "Cohousing-L" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:42 PM
Subject: [C-L]_ dealing with vandalism by off-site teens


Sat night,  22Oct2005, our Common House street-side porch was vandalized 
with vulgar graffiti (e.g., "F* Eno Commons") and some of the houses' roofs 
and siding were hit with bricks.  After the discovery of the vandalism 
Sunday afternoon, we called the police and painted  the graffiti over after 
the police made their report.



A couple of members got the message to certain suspects that they ought to 
come clean.  Sunday evening two off-site teens admitted guilt to a member of 
the community they trusted.



Monday evening we had a very well-attended salon with the two teenage boys 
and their parents.  The kids admitted their guilt.  The community talked 
with the boys, the boys talked, their parents talked, and then the boys and 
parents left and the community talked.



Community members at the salon decided not to allow the boys on the property 
until further notice and uninvited them from our upcoming EnoWeen 
celebration.  (The brother of one of the perpetrators is still invited to 
our event and allowed on the property.)  We scheduled a salon this Sunday to 
decide what the consequences should be.



Unfortunately, there has been an update since the meeting.  We discovered 
that the hood of one of our neighbors' truck was also vandalized.  Obscene 
words, including "F* (member's first name)" have been scratched into the 
hood of the truck.  The boys did not mention this act at Monday's meeting.



I am interested in what other communities have done when they have had 
vandalism by off-site teens and whether any other community has banned a 
child from their community.  (I checked the Cohousing-L archives with no 
success.)



Some background:  Eno Commons is a suburban cohousing community within the 
(Durham, NC) city limits.  Houses were built on  a street adjacent to Eno 
Commons.  The kids from that neighborhood come to ours to play basketball in 
our plaza, hang out, play with our kids in our meadow and occasionally are 
invited to join us at our community meal.  Although we have mixed feelings 
about allowing these kids to be here unsupervised and occasionally grow 
weary of reminding them of our rules (e.g., helmets while riding bikes), we 
try to be welcoming.



If you need more info, let me know.  We look forward to your feedback and 
suggestions.



-Robert Heinich

 Eno Commons Cohousing

 Durham, NC
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