Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Requesting Letters to Editor

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

I don't have time to go back and analyze any articles for any comments 
more specific than this but for what its worth:

I really appreciated the issue on conflict. We need as much of this as 
we can get! People are drawn to the idea of community as a way to avoid 
conflict. Nothing could be further from what they experience when they 
finally get over the elation of actually moving into their dream.

In the short run community emphasizes conflict. People must honestly 
confront conflicts and resolve them if the community is to function. 
The old standbys of ignoring, isolating, dominating, fencing, zoning, 
shouting, undermining, crying, and buying your way out no longer work. 
Push has come to shove. Everyone has an equal voice. No one's needs are 
more important than anyone else's (for long).

Most often, people equate conflict with anger, dislike, rejection, 
unreasonable demands, etc. This leads to magical thinking like "if we 
are just nice, all this will go away." "Just get along." "What we need 
is a good party." Of course this does work sometimes but not on the big 
issues.

More on conflict, please. Make it presentable.

Sharon
---
Sharon Villines
Building Community: A Newsletter on New Neighborhoods
http://www.buildingcommunitynews.org





On Oct 25, 2005, at 9:23 PM, Communities Magazine wrote:

> Hello cohousers and other intentional community activists,
>
> 	If you've been wanting to have your say in print about 
> community-related/cohousing-related topics, or about anything you've 
> read in a recent Communities magazine issue, would you please email me 
> a Letter to the Editor?
> 	I ask because while we usually have plenty of Letters for this 
> section of the magazine, this time we don't have quite enough. So I'm, 
> er, blush, blatantly soliciting them.
>
>         Thanks very much!
>
>         Diana Christian
>
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