Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: The shelf life of decisions

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Apr 21, 2006, at 3:47 AM, ken wrote:

> Even well crafted rules won't replace consideration and tolerance.

The issue is defining "consideration and tolerance." Each person has 
their own definition. In order for individuals to become a group, they 
need to craft a group definition. The need for such a definition comes 
when one or more members of the group bump heads with someone else's 
definition.

Some groups start with shared definitions because the members have 
shared cultural traditions. But when the goal is diversity -- all bets 
are off. There is a lot more to talk about when you are planning on 
living with people who do not share your own traditions of 
"consideration and tolerance." Most of us probably have no idea what 
our boundaries are until we move into cohousing or have a similar 
experience that highlights them.

Cultural traditions are so embedded into who we are that we are like 
fish in water. What water?

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Building Community: A Guide to Creating New Neighborhoods
http://www.buildingcommunity.info