Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Conflict Resolution Procedure

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

 Sometimes conflicts can not be resolved, and must simply be set aside as
differences. If I am a vegan, and you are not, we can easily be in conflict
over eating choices. Elements of group conflict can emerge such as sniping
(speaking ill of the person or others you are in conflict with) and side
mongering (gathering other people to your point of view). When these things
happen the group might want to notice and point it out.  

 There can be  many such differences in community life, and since cohousing
rarely ever has group ideology defined as the group mission, differences in
this environment should be expected and something that is normal.  It is
these differences which will make agreements on some issues feel very
compromised and at times unsatisfactory, because the middle ground can be
far away  for people with strong belief systems. A case in point: Recycling.
This is not a Sharingwood requirement, it is a personal household choice.
Some of those who recycle have very strong environmental belief systems and
can be kind of annoying to those who do not hold that belief. It is in some
cases a conflict area for a few individuals regarding the commonhouse, but
it is simply a difference between us, one which we all have to accept and
live with. And yes, I do pick the recycles out of the trash can at the
commonhouse on occasion but I have stopped being annoying about it. 


Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Cohousing
Naturalist, Writer
The Environmental Science School
http://www.nonprofitpages.com/nica/SVE.htm
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