Cohousing-L Mailing List: Guest Etiquette Question

[Cher Stuewe-Portnoff (cherworks01]

Over the past few months, looking for a place to live, we have had the
privilege of being a guest at several cohousing communities -- sometimes as
housesitter, sometimes in a common house guest room, and on occasion as an
invited overnight guest in someone's home. Our question is this: We know
that a donation is appreciated, even if not directly requested, when we stay
in a common house guest room. We are less certain what is appropriate when
staying in the private home of a member of the community whom one has come
to know a little, but not well. 

Is housesitting an equal exchange of services -- caretaking in return for a
roof over one's head -- or is there an expectation of a "donation" in
addition? Is an invitation to stay in the private home of an individual
after a fair amount of friendly communication to be considered an act of
friendship, or a service?

We've tried a couple of times asking directly; in one case, the home owner
gave us an amount that she expected -- that one was easy. But in other
cases, we got no answer, and were concerned that the question was offensive.
On occasion, we have left a gift certificate (e.g., to a restaurant the
homeowner had commented on as a favorite) in thanks, much as we might for
any friend. But since these have never been acknowledged, even in later
communications, we wonder if they were somehow inappropriate: Too much? Too
little?

There's probably not one right answer, but we could sure use a sense of what
is generally considered good manners before we travel any farther :-).
Thanks!

Cher & Greg