Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Seeking info about women sharing cohousing units

[Erika Lockhart (fiatgirl]

> This is an interesting idea, and-- as a woman approaching retirement who will
> have a comfortable income yet not enough to be able to purchase a home on my
> own, but who is, nevertheless, determined to live in a co-housing
> community--it's one I'm interested in exploring.  I wonder if there are other
> women out there who would like to open communication about this possibility and
> see where it leads.
>
> Lia
Hi!

I just found this list today from a link a friend sent to me.

We are two in a group of three, possibly four women hoping to retire ASAP -
which means in about 5 years.  Currently, we're 47-59 years old, work for
public agencies, are single, divorced or divorcing, and have realized that
creating a common housing situation will enable us to live much better than
our paltry retirement salaries would afford us on our own. I'm the youngest,
but am injured and facing the probability of new knee(s) in the near future,
which will be forcing a much earlier retirement than I had anticipated.

I have land - three acres on a private road with power and well water.
Being the land owner and numbers person, I put together a proposal for
building a house with a big common area, storage areas and workshop, and
either small bedrooms incorporated into a covered space with semi-private
sitting areas, or larger spaces with a bedroom and sitting room.  I
appreciate someone's comments about having a sink in the room!  We will be
looking for help in designing our place and I've suggested that we go to
SolFest soon to network for contacts in design and so forth (see
http://www.solarliving.org/)

I think everyone's on board with my desire to have a passive solar home with
an alternative septic system for use of greywater for gardening.  I think
since we're getting older we'll have to consider that any fees will have to
include some help for major cleaning, gardening, and repairs.

My biggest fear is that I'm committing my retirement place to something I'm
not sure will keep us all friends.  I've made friends there, and all those
involved have been to the property and most have met the neighbors, and like
them - that's not a problem.  The problems I'm anticipating come from
several areas, and I fear that I'm going to end up a "bad guy" in all this,
and ending up not having it work out.  I'm a kind of a minimalist and moving
towards a nicer building that would serve the community needs may not  meet
mine.

1.  I live in a small community now as a firefighter.  We have anywhere from
9-20 people in a station, with a culture of cooperation in performing
household tasks, including cleaning, cooking, and, to a certain extent,
maintaining the premises.  We have tri-annual inspections, for which the
entire building is cleaned from top to bottom.  Certain tools are run or
inventoried on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, including backup generators
and emergency medical equipment.   None of the other potential participants
have this background.  One has expressed that she was annoyed by someone
cleaning dishes up while she was cooking at a relative's house.  Another
eats mostly junk food and might not appreciate the economies of scale
involved with having community dinners with good food.  Others may be less
tolerant of a less clean environment on a daily basis.  On the other hand,
one is a gardener who might contribute by growing food, although to date,
her main contribution is orchids.

2.  From the time that I was little, I've lived an environmentally conscious
life.  I've recycled and composted practically since I've been able to
speak.  I have a small solar energy system working at my property now,
composting toilets, greywater re-use, waste sorting, etc.  I also have
public power, and electric and wood heat (don't like to be cold!) but try to
balance this out with the other things I do.  From what I've been able to
detect, none of the other people gives a hoot about any of this stuff except
to the extent that design of the property may minimize future expenditures (
i.e., initial investment in solar electrical and/or passive solar design may
save future dollars.)

3.  I do plumbing, construction, repairs, etc., and want my contributions to
be recognized in the plan, i.e., credit for work done.  I think one of the
others is similarly inclined, but plans to use the place as a secondary home
and may not be around for 1/2 the year.

For these reasons, I'm interested in what kinds of issues others may have
addressed along these lines.  As one friend in this group has mentioned, I
think that women in our age group may be faced with more trying, less
well-funded circumstances than our mothers may have had.  I know that
despite 30+ years of work history, as a single woman, I'm in far worse shape
financially than my mother.  I want to make the best life possible for
myself while avoiding or anticipating any pitfalls in a community.  In other
words, I don't want to give up property rights for a higher workload.  So
far, I see myself as finance/bookkeeper/handyman/garbage and energy monitor,
and I'm not really seeing how much anyone else can contribute except for
money, and I don't think these functions can be hired out.

I'm also contemplating only retiring from one job and continuing to work in
another. How do we balance the load, or manage disputes about "who is doing
more"?

Would appreciate anyone's insight/comments.  I appreciate your attention to
this. We are in the beginning stages of exploration of this idea. I'd rather
find out sooner rather than later that it was not feasible.

Cheers!

Erika




--
Erika Lockhart
Mini Co-housing aspirant
California