Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Secrecy in Cohousing meetings

[Sterling Newberry (sterling.newberry]

Dear Norm,
I was thinking to write about your first letter in the spirit of, my
own view about secret meetings in cohousing communities, which I think
are not helpful except in what I'm thinking should be rare
circumstances. (The community hires someone to do part time work and
must discuss whether to fire them I think would be an example of a not
public meeting?).

After reading your reply to Michael Barrette, I'm moved to say
something very different.  In it you speak about other people in your
community, saying things that I think are inferences about their
motives and behavior, the data for which is not available for us,
since we don't live in your community.  An example would be when you
said "There are several ego-driven people in our community that are
within our top-down command structure."

Whether the folks you refer to are "ego driven", what ego driven means
to you, and whether your community has a "top-down command structure"
are not things for which I have direct experience.  Michael can
correct me if I'm misconstruing his words, but I'm guessing that is
why he said "I find myself very reluctant to make any judgement
without hearing something of the "other side of the story" - which
Mr Gauss omits.", in his reply.

While I don't feel qualified to comment on the details of your
community's situation, I do have the experience of reading your
emails.  Thre are some ways in which I'mthinking you are expressing
yourself that I believe are likely to be ineffective in getting you
heard by others in your community.  If you are willing, I would be
happy to share those thoughts, and the things you wrote that triggered
them either on the List or privately between you and I, and to hear
your reactions to what I say.  Are you open to this?
Thanks,
Sterling