Cohousing-L Mailing List: Ignoring concerns of people not at a meeting

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

Consensus process pretty much demands participation. If you regularly can't
get participation then  it is probably not a process that will work well.
One way is to have those who have questions or concerns ask those ahead of
the meeting, thus requiring a proposal to be announced and posted with some
kind of time ahead so people can read it and respond. Another way is to have
your question or concern represented by someone else who will be present.
Sometimes people not present have huge experience or influence, for example,
the main gardener can not be present for a discussion about the garden.  In
this situation it might be best to postpone that particular bit of work
until that person can attend. 

It is also important to understand that consensus is not unanimous
agreement, and so participants who do not necessarily fully agree to a
proposal might still be asked to give their consent (permission) for the
group to proceed.  This is a key understanding that many cohousing groups
seem to miss and they can burn themselves out trying to get unanimous
agreement on all details rather than asking the group for permission to go
ahead and see what happens.  Sometimes you have to get every single little
detail finalized, but many times you do not. Most everything you do is an
experiment and there will be changes later as you learn things. In many
things you decide, making an adaptive agreement works best, try it out, see
what works, what does not, then fix what is not working, repeat as
necessary. 

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Cohousing resident going on 17 years.