Cohousing-L Mailing List: Mixing kids and adults [was Communities with cross-generational programs?]

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Nov 20, 2007, at 3:11 AM, Sally Wright wrote:

> Do you have a system that pairs parents and retirees* so that each  
> could be
> of use to the other group?

Firstly, separating people by giving them names -- assuming that older  
people are "retirees" and not parents or that no parents are  
"retirees" -- is probably not a good strategy. Not all people without  
young children are of a different generation. And not all people who  
can provide child care are "retirees."

In our community, when anyone needs help they post to the community  
listserve. "I need someone to watch Billy on Thursday from 5:00 to  
about 7:00 when Mary gets home from work." "Can anyone take Nelly on  
Thursday -- she has no school." "I need a ride to the airport on ...."

We have one parent who used to post, "This year the school holidays  
are .... " with a long string of dates, then a follow-up with "I  
have ... covered but still need help with ...."

Or "Sammy is raising money for a new bike -- will do chores."

I used to see one 70+ woman playing gin rummy every Thursday after  
school with a 10 year old who takes out her trash. Then he grew up and  
is on his own after school.

In the very beginning I also remember a meeting in which people  
discussed their discomfort with children in the community and the  
parents of those children told people how they would like their  
children treated. We have several people who have never been around  
children and many who would like them to be better behaved (no  
shouting or running in the common house). Resolving or at least  
acknowledging those issues also brings people closer together. Many  
parents just don't hear kids making noise.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing,Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org